If you have noticed a change in your level of sexual desire, it may be a normal effect of stress or tiredness, chronic pain and illness, or simply that you are getting older. Loss of a close relative or loved on is a very natural reason to lose sexual desire.

Loss of desire in these cases, except for during bereavement, can be improved by increasing the time you spend thinking about sex, inventing some new fantasies, trying new things with your partner,and masturbating more often, but not so often that your ability to be sexual in other ways is impaired. During bereavement, you just have to wait until your mourning is over.

If you are in a relationship, it is really important to talk things over with your partner. There may be hidden anger or resentment which are the commonest reasons for reduced desire with a partner. If your partner is angry with you, you may pick it up at an unconscious level, and be affected by it. If you are angry with your partner, the same thing can happen. Partners often blame themselves, thinking they are no longer attractive to you, or that you don't love them any more.

If talking to each other is too difficult, a therapist could help you get the ball rolling.