Sex is not supposed to be painful once you have got past the early stages. If there is pain, then the causes need to be found. Common causes of painful sex are

Physical Causes

1. Tension in the vagina, like Vaginismus
2. Infections, such as thrush, warts, herpes, sexually transmitted diseases.
3. Medical conditions, such as endometriosis, where the womb lining grows in the wrong place.
4. Pain syndromes, such as Vulvodynia, when there is a burning or severe aching feeling, which can occur without any sexual activity.
5. Birth conditions, such as imperforate or unopened hymen, or splits or fissures in the wall of the vagina.
6. Surgical problems, such as adhesions after an operation on your tummy.
7. After childbirth, while the vagina recovers, it can pe painful for up to a year. Once you have checked with a gynaecologist that it is healed and there is no physical cause for your pain, it is OK to have sex.

Emotional Causes

1. Not getting turned on or aroused Arousal Difficulties
2. Not realy feeling grown up, and as though you shouldn't be doing this
3. Strict upbringing.
4. History of Sexual Abuse or rape or other trauma.
5. Family traditions and customs.
6. Relationship Difficulties
7. Fear of Sex which makes us tense, and all we feel is fear.

There are other causes, and a therapist could help you find them. Sometimes there are more than one cause. A therapist could also help you find the way forward to help improve the painful sex. It is usually something that can be got better.