When disability or chronic illness come into the life of a couple, the dynamic of the relationship can change markedly. After the initial shock of the illness or accident, many new feelings and behaviours may emerge. Frustration and anger at loss of mobility or flexibility, depression at loss of sensation, grief that movements or behaviours that were so natural in the past are no longer possible, or cause discomfort and pain, can seriously affect even the strongest relationship. The secure ground has shifted, what was easy and familiar to both, is no longer there. This affects both parties, and the partner of the disabled person may be sorely tested, particularly if fulfilment of sexual needs is no longer possible, in ways that were enjoyed by both. There may be a shift in the balance of power, and the one who was formerly stronger, is now dependant, perhaps even helpless.

It can be very useful and encouraging to explore these changes with someone neutral and experienced. Perhaps new ways of enjoying sex or sensual experience can be discovered, without going outside the relationship.