In couple therapy, both partners attend the therapy sessions, although one or two solo sessions can be arranged if needed. I find sometimes one partner wants to come first to suss me out, and that is fine by me. I try to be as flexible as possible, as therapy needs to fit in with the rest of life. When there are two lives involved, however, it can mean both partners have to put themselves out a bit.

The first thing I like to do is to hear the reasons for coming to therapy, and what each person is hoping to get from it. I then need to understand what made them decide to come now, and what has led up to this point. It is much better for me if I can hear partners talking together about these things, rather than each one telling me in turn.

Once we have an understanding of what is going on and why, together we agree a path to change the things that need to change. Sometimes this means doing something outside the therapy session, as homework, which we discuss at the next session. This speeds up the work and keeps partners minds on the changes they want to make.

The advantage of couple therapy is that we all know what is being said and thought. Both partners keep the therapy work going outside the sessions, and can give each other encouragement and support. Although people are nervous of couple therapy, I find that once they get going they feel better very quickly and even enjoy it.