Andrew and Sally came for therapy because they had stopped having any sexual contact. At first, both had been quite inexperienced, but enthusiasm lent energy, both were willing to try things out and to learn. Gradually Andrew became more and more reluctant to do anything sexual, then found himself feeling anxious at the very idea. They came for therapy at Sally's insistance, because she was feeling unloved, and considering ending the relationship. Andrew knew he loved her, but could not overcome his feelings.

The therapist asked a lot about their upbringing, and early life, and they could see the differences. Sally had had a stable and loving background, where Andrew had had breaks in family life due to his mother's several breakdowns. One day he returned from school to discover she had been taken to hospital. On another occasion he found her in a coma, after an overdose. No wonder closeness was frightening for him. Anything close could be sadly lost or taken away.

Once Andrew and Sally understood that their loving relationship had reawakened the fear of loss in Andrew, they could use Sex Therapy to heal the scars from the past, to recover confidence in their sexual loving, and secure the future of their relationship.