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am i gay?

Submitted by numberc87 on Sat, 22/07/2006 - 15:22. General

hi im a 19 yr old male and as long as i could remember ive been attracted to females.im the type of guy who would have a crush on a girl but would b to afraid to go talk to them. but within the past couple of months ive been starting to doubt my heterosexuality. through puberty id tried stuff with guys, not sex, but masterbating and handjobs. back then i never really thought i was gay i jus thought i was experimenting which i hear is normal. i never fantisize about sex with men either. it wasnt till a month ago i met a girl who i am interested in and i had sex with her. it was my first time and i was a nervous. wen i started doin it with her i lost my erection which really scared me.wen we were kissin and everything i was aroused so that would have to mean im heterosexual right? ive masterbated to heterosexual porn for 6 yrs now sometimes more than 3 times a day. but after i lost my virfinity i hardly do it at all i dont feel as aroused by anything. i really like this girl too shes my first "real" girlfriend.is there anyone else in a similar situation? and help would be greatly appreciated

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As a 28 yr old woman, i

Submitted by sunshine78 on Tue, 01/08/2006 - 21:45.

As a 28 yr old woman, i don't have much experience of 19 year old males, but one thing which i did think of when i read your post was that - quote - "was my first time and i was a nervous".

This was your first sexual experience - it's perfectly normal to be nervous, and i think that may be why you lost your erection. Please don't be scared that you lost your erection as this is perfectly normal.

It doesn't matter wether you are gay or straight on this one, because ALL men loose their erection when they are nervous!.

I am afraid that it is a myth that sex is wonderful (whether you are gay, straight, bi, etc.), as it can be painful and frustraiting and it takes a lot of hard work to get it right! I don't mean to be clincal or frigid, but i am trying to reassure you that good sex takes practice and patience for most couples, and is something which grows and gets better over a period of time. I can pretty much guarentee that most people i know did not enjoy their first time having sex. I lost my virginity far too young, and only started to enjoy it in my mid 20's.

Please don't be worried about this as i belive this to be very commom - wether you are a gay or straight male. I am sorry i can;t give you advice surrounding you sexuality, as this is something only you can decide that, (for the record you sound straight).

I really wouldn't let this one, only, and first, encounter worry you, or stop you experimenting, as i think this happens to most men ( the one's i know anyway).

Could it be possible that you have lost your sex drive after you lost your virginity due to the fact you are worried about loosing your errection?

If so, please, please, don't worry. My ex used to lose his erection quite frequently when he was tierd, or stressed, in fact, in my experience, ALL men do - this is not unusual.

Saying that, i am afraid i am in no position to offer advice surrounding your sexuality as i don't know you, and even if i did, i am still not sure if i could, 'cause i think only you can decide.

What ever you decide, good luck.

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