Find myself being drawn to pay internet chat sites. At this point it's not even about sexual gratification. I've made some friends and also live out some mild fantasies. The disturbing part is that I can't stop and I'm spending money that I shouldn't. I'm in therapy but have a hard time discussing this with my therapist. Also fear SAA as I'm embarrassed to talk, in public, about this. Does anyone have ways to help keep myself away from these sites or know of any online support groups?

My husband of 14 years is a sex and love addict and also an alcoholic. He just spent two months at a rehab cetnre in Santa Fe and is currently at a halfway house in Miami for a further two months. I just wanted to connect with anyone who wants to chat about their similar experiences for advice and solace. My husband almost never wants to have sex with me and he also suffers with ED which is psychological. We have two kids ages 13 and 11. Two girls. The reason that my husband finally went into rehab was that my daughter and I walked into his office one afternoon and there on his computer screen for both of us to see was a woman masturbating. He was very ashamed and depressed and this prompted him to go into rehab. We have never had a good sex life and I have caught hom three other times in 12 years looking at porn at home but I never realised how serious the problem was until he went into rehab and admitted the amount of time he spends on the net. He has also used prostitutes three times since our marriage and been unfaithful with someone from his office once. I am finding it very hard to deal with the pain of his betrayal and also continue life with my kids, work etc. Does anyone have any advice to give or story to share. He is also a love addict and has fantasies of finding the perfect woman who would make him happy. And I always thought I did.

I have just come back from my girlfriend C__'s flat having been dumped. We have been together for 1 year and we both decided a long time back that we were in love with each other. Quite simply she is fantastic and I was the luckiest man on the planet in respect of our physical, psychological, social and sexual relationship etc

However, I have always had a problem with internet porn. When I was younger (I am 29 now), before the days of the internet, I had literally hundreds of porn magazines. The top shelf in my wardrobe literally groaned under the weight of Club, High Society and a wealth of DVD's (and even back in the day VHS'). Then as the net developed and as I got access to better and better technology, more bandwidth and so on I got in to talking to webcam girls, scoping through escort sites to look at the best girls that were available that I could 'potentially' have encounters with... you get the picture. Certainly there was a pattern of escalation and by about 2 years ago I was spending upwards of £300/ month ($600) on porn members sites and having phone and webcam sex with various girls around the globe. Once or twice I even went to meet an escort. When I met this wonderful girl though the only thing that changed was that I never met someone in the flesh. That for me was morally wrong.

I feel really confused and any advice is welcomed. I am happily married, we have been together for four years. A few weeks ago I was away for a week, and when I returned he confessed that he had been masturbating and watching porn on the internet for hours and everyday. It was hard but I tried to support him. Anyway, I had a sexual blockage after that confession, I did not want to have sex with him, and it took me time and energy to open again. I do think that masturbation is good if it is practiced in a healthy way, but the way he does it is quite destructive.

Instead, I do not like porn at all, I never did, because I think it dehumanises, it denigrates women and it makes sex look like a product of consumption. And overall, it has little to do with how I understand sex, which is a means of communication for me. The thing is, yesterday I came home earlier than expected, and again, I found him watching porn and masturbating. After what happened, and after all the pain coming from that, how could he do it again, only a couple of weeks later?

I really think he has a problem, and it is affecting our sexual life. Sometimes I feel that he treats me as if I was a porn actress, it's not so obvious but there is something that just does not work.

G--- and I have always had issues over intimacy and sexual fulfillment. We have been together for 4 and a half years. I am 32 and he is 26. I discovered early on that greg pre-ejaculates and I decided to help him get treatment. Although we have never sought counselling, I bought several books and did my journal research over the internet. But the whole time during my research and efforts, he never took the initiative to get involved. In other words I was attemping all efforts to help him by myself.

He never initiates sex. He has never approached me sexually or shown desires for me. He never rejects my advances and seems to enjoy the little sex we do have. But it has never been extaordinary, as you can imagine, since we do not last or even continue the act once he ejaculates. Despite premature ejaculation, should it not be normal for him to want more of me since he is young and in his prime?

I must say that there was always something missing in our relationship, there was always a gap between us. He is the most wonderful man. He has a good heart and I know that he cares for me. But often times I have felt alone and distant from him.

There has always been a communication gap between us. He has the most difficult time expressing and sharing his feelings. I can't even remember if he ever had an opinion about something as I have always wondered about his thoughts. Despite the several books I have bought concerning communication, and the promises that he would change, he never read any.

Appologies - no letter y on kepad and taking me ages to cut and paste.

I have been with my Fiance for just over one year. He is 24 and I am 34. We have just chosen our wedding venue and I was going to book it in the next day or two. However, this morning I have had confirmation from him that he has a problem and he can not help himself masturbating over porn and wants me to help and support him in stopping it - as he hates doing it as he feels guilt etc afterwards, especially as he does not want to hurt or lose me.

It is difficult for me to understand why he could not help it when he knew it would result in the possible ending of our relationship. He was in floods of tears and told me that he has always had a problem with having sex, and he has a uncomfortable feeling/guilt when he is having real sex, but these feelings have been decreasing over the time we have been together.

He has admitted that he has a problem with porn addiction and desperately does not want to loose me and I do believe him and know that he adores me. He has asked me to help him and he will do anthing to stop it so that it does not affect our relationship and he hates the feelings of guilt and uncomforableness when having sex. We spent a long time talking and my initial reaction would be if I could ever trust him as he has broken promises and lies to hide what he has been doing. I want to trust him and not be checking his emails, texts, computer etc - which I have checked texts periodically

Two years ago for the first time in my life i feel in love completely with a wonderful man. I knew within weeks he was the one i wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

Over the next few months we moved in together and although the sex was never great i just thought that with time it would get better.After living together for a while i began to notice that he spent a lot of time looking at porn, i didnt have a problem with this at first as i didnt mind looking at it myself. We bought a house together and i introduced him to my family and my dad which was something i had never done before.Over the next few months i saw that the problem was getting worse but thought that he just needed to talk to someone i told him he had a problem but he would deny that it was.

He asked me to marry in at midnight on new years eve and i have never been happier in my life it was fantastic but after a month my father fell ill and i had to go away for two weeks. When i came back i found out that he had been on dating website and in the end i told him that he had a problem and he admitted to me he had. I could never walk away from him and i now realise that this is because my mother died of cancer when i was 6 and i have issues around it.

Hi,

I am 24 M. My girl friend wants to have sex with me. But I like to have a good relation without sex. Is having sex with her is good or bad. Can I have sex with her or I have to wait until my marriage. I m also eager to have sex but controlling myself.

I'm totally confused.

Should boys keep viriginity unitl marriage, Please advice.

My boyfriend is a porn addict but more recently I have to my absolute disgust discovered him looking at transvestites - quite alot! Does tis mean he could be gay? I have also discovered his google searches on 'animal sex - having sex with an animal' - this horrifies me as I cannot understand who on earth would look at things like this. Physcologically - what does this mean about him?
He also looked up dogging sites in the UK. Should I leave now, surely someone like this needs help?
The thing is we live together and have been in what I thought was a great, honest relationship. I now feel hurt, upset and disgusted. Can anyone tell me why he is doing this? What does it mean?

I really need some help here. I believe with my whole head and heart my bf of 2years is addicted to porn. He keeps telling me its not an addiction, he just enjoys porn, and it has nothing to do with me, that is in not an emotional thing. He tells me I have to chill out on him.
Well it has gotten bad, I have walked in on him masturbating to porn more than once, and was disgusted. If you ever come to our house, sit on the sofa at your own discrection, I dont. I used to love to watch him do that, it was foreplay for me, and I liked us using porn together. But since I have opened my eyes and have seen what it is all about for him, I am not turned on by it at all anymore. Of course he calls me frigid now. He watchs internet porn EVERYDAY, and indulges in solo-sex to dvds (since I made him cancel the porn channel) at least once a week(his own admission, I believe it to be more).
It has become almost impossible for me to reach an orgasm when and if we have sex, and he doesn't everytime either. I love this man with all my heart, but really feel there is a problem here.
He tells me it is so normal that every man does it, the difference is how the woman reacts. Well let me tell you, my reactions have been anything but good. It has gotten to be too much.
If he were only checking out porn once a week or something, maybe it wouldnt be so bad, but BELIEVE ME...it is EVERYDAY. All I have to do is check the computer. And if it has been something pretty bad, he will clear the temp files.
I've tried ignoring it, yelling, crying, counseling(by myself because according to him he isn't the one with the problem)
Please help me find a way to deal with this...
Any advice is appreciated....