Hi,

following a vasectomy over a month a go I am having problems with my orgasm. I still easily get erections and can maintain them. I still have a the same levels of sexual desire etc and I have all the same senstion when my wife or myself touch my penis.

The problem is that when reaching the point of orgasm I still get all the build up sensation but at the peak of orgasm it just fades away to nothing and I ejaculate. I normally have very high levels of sensation at this point. It is pretty much non existant.

Everything I read suggests that this isnt a problem caused by vasectomy however I read some articles where men experience the same as me and after years of investigation they still have not found the cause.

This is really getting me down and consuming my thoughts all day.

Help would be appreciated.

My husband and I have been together for 30 years and married for 26. Sex has never been the mainstay of our relationship, but it has never particularly bothered either of us. HOwever,recently my husband is having trouble reaching an orgasm. He is worried about it. He is on medication, which I believe could have something to do with it. He is also quite overweight. Neither of us are very imaginative in the bedroom, but I believe there are methods which I could help him with. Can anybody help me. Thank you.

My husband mentioned to me early in our relationship that he has never ejaculated during sex while on top and I have found this to be true throughout our relationship we have been together since September of 2004. He has ejaculated 2 or 3 times during sex while I was on top however since I got pregnant with our son he has not without first the aid of oral sex or masturbation immediatley prior to ejaculation during sex.
His mother informed me that his father had the same issue so I am wondering if it is possible that there is some sort of hereditary connection here. One other commanality that he, his father, grandfather and the other men in his family have is very low heart rate and low blood pressure I was wondering if this could be a contributing factor. I know that a lot has to do with pyschological however it cant be completely mental.
This has become very hard for me as it makes me feel like it is my fault as if he is no longer interested in me and that is why he is unable to orgasim. One reason I believe that it may be caused by blood pressure is because when he exerts energy on his motion he tends to lose his erection faster than when he is laying down. Please help our sex life is terrible.

Hi. I have more than one sexual problem. The main problem I've had for several years is that I rarely have orgasms and when they do happen, sometimes it takes up to an hour or two to achieve. This has been a problem for as long as I can remember. I've been on the Depo Provera birth control shot on and off for about 6 years now and I have not had any side effects. I am starting to think that my difficulty in achieving orgasms could be a side effect of the Depo Provera. Do you know if Depo Provera can cause any difficulties achieving orgasms?
My boyfriend has suggested that I could try a different birth control method (he is wondering if there is/are any birth control methods that do not have any sexual side effects) and see if that improves the situation. After my ex boyfriend and I had been in a relationship for 4 years he bought me a vibrator. I did not have any problems whatsoever getting orgasms with that vibrator and I used it for at least one year. It was amazing. Not that I'm a freak or anything but that vibrator broke and I was depressed and have not been able to afford a new one. Although I do not have a vibrator, I am still able to have orgasms from my boyfriend but just feel frustrated because they are so difficult to obtain and he puts so much time, energy, and work into it.

Ok, here's the story. When my boyfriend and I started sleeping together he told me he has trouble reaching orgasm - but also told me that it was usually the case that after a few months with someone he "relaxed" and was able to perform normally. We had a great sex life for the first few months, even though he never came without stimulating himself. The inability to come through penetrative sex/oral/anything I did never improved however. But I never made an issue of it - though I have often asked what he would like me to do for him that he would find nice - his best reply so far is simply to shrug.

We moved in together 6 months ago, and since then he has completely gone off sex. We have sex about once a month. His expectations on those occasions are that I will stimulate myself in order to be aroused, and that all he wants to do is "stick it in". He is completely not interested in my body - I can parade around completely nude and get no response. I can wear sexy underwear and he doesn't even notice. Most of the time if I try to initiate things he pretends he hasn't noticed.

On the rare occasions we do have sex he definitely expects that I will "get myself ready for it". The sex doesn't last very long because he can't keep his hands off his penis. He always chooses a "lazy" position where he can thrust without much effort, one which does nothing for me, and then after a few minutes he pulls out and masturbates. If I try to give him oral sex he always grabs it and starts masturbating - which sometimes is really unpleasnt when he's bashing my mouth with it in the process.

I have never had the fortune to experience an orgasm with or without my husband of 25 years, we have tried so many different things, but it occurred to me that I'm not even sure if I feel aroused!! I have read so many articles about feeling the sensations etc, but for me there aren't any sensations that come along at all, I feel no different when kissing and cuddling or having sex than typing this or cleaning the bathroom, help please what can we do?

I have no problem getting or maintaining an erection, or ejaculating. I just don't orgasm. It just never has any good feeling to it at all. What's going on?

i have been with this man 4 14 years i have had 4 kids by him 7 months ago he lot me he is gay and he did not love me any more and he had been seeing man behind my back 4 the 14 years i have been with him.
i have not told my kids why their dad is not at home, my oldest is 14 and he is not going to take it well i told them me and daddy just can not get on any more.
But now he is telling me he is not gay any more and he loves me now and would like to came home and if i think that he would do that any more to take over the money side of thing he will not let me more on i am so down there is just no where 4 me to go or to talk to.
I have be on line looking there is not a thing i just would like to talk to some one thats like me and i think it bad thats there not any chat rooms or any thing like that 4 people who as gone through this. it just not nice that u live with some one who u thing is one thing and there not and my life and my kids life r un happy because of a man who can not make up his mind what he is and i think its un fair
please if there is any one out there like me tell me how u have got on and if it gets better as time gos bye thank u

Hi, I am pleased to see your web site which gives a wealth of knowledge regarding man's sexual problems. Though they are self explanatory, I am forced to pose this question and needed your help because of my and my (wife) partner's age.

I am 46 years old and my partner is 43 years old and we want a child on our own sexual intercourse as the parameters related to child birth in both of us are good. We are married for the last 4 1/2 years. I was unable to have any sort of intercourse with her during this period barring the last two days. I used to have masturbaration frequently before marriage and even after marriage twice or thrice in a week with ejaculation. Earlier I was not having erection at all but lately after sustained use of caverta a sidefnail citrate tablet I am having erection sufficient to penetrate my partner. But could not bring seman out that is ejaculation within few minutes (less than 2) and gradually the temper goes off and the pennis comes out automatically.

Kindly suggest a way for me without taking long time like exercises therapies consultations etc. considering our age and our anxiety to give birth to a child which could or should be less complicated and should be easy for me. Kindly excuse me for putting so many terms and conditions but I hope you will understand our anxiety and age factor.

My problem has been consistent for as long as I can remember and over the last year its began to get worst to the point where its affecting me mentaly. Whenever I have sexual intercourse the sex is good but afterwards my right testicle begins to tighten and become uncomfortable. Within a few hours after sex the testicle eventualy retracts and dissapears completly.

The more I have sex the more intense and uncomfortable it becomes. Just by walking, running or excercising the testicle will tighten and suddenly dissapear and I can feel it up inside my abdomen but cannot see any lump. If I go without sex for a few weeks the testicle drops nicely again and becomes normal and relaxed and stays that way, even if im running or excercising.

I'v seen 3 different doctors and all but 1 said there was nothing wrong with me (probably because at the time the testicle was relaxed and normal) the other doctor refered me to a urologist and I think the urologist thought it was some sort of joke, he touched around for about 10 seconds and told me he couldnt see what the problem was, I felt a fool and just cant bring myself to see any other doctor again.

There must be something wrong - not everyone walks around with 1 testicle after sex, do they? I'v come to think that if I go without sex for maybe 4 or 5 months, that the testicle might drop and stay that way, but havnt managed to hold out that long. I masterbated a lot from the age of 12 and it was only when I reached 15 that the testicle first retracted into my abdomen and has been doing it ever since (Im now 24). It affects my stamina too and cant bring myself to have sex again for days after because of this horrible problem.