Partner Therapy Group - Medications and Treatments

Self Hypnosis

Tue, 15 Feb 2005 09:32:15 +0000

xxxx

To be added.

Treatment for Dyspareunia or Painful Sex

Thu, 07 Sep 2006 20:04:48 +0100

The most important thing about treatment is to make sure you know what the cause is. There are a number of reasons for pain in the lower body and the vagina, and if the cause is not found, you could have the wrong treatment.

First Step

As a start, see your doctor. If you have had a baby recently, see your gynaecologist. There can be tiny folds or cracks or bits of a scar which can give bad pain.
Visit a Well Woman Clinic if you have not had a check up for a while. Go to the Genito Urinary Clinic if you think it would be wise to have a total check for any infection They are very expert, completely confidential, and will treat anything that is going on. If you have vulval pain that seems not to be any of these, it could be one of the vuvlval pain syndromes, like Vulvodynia.

 Visit http://www.vulvalpainsociety.org for more information.

If all is well Medically...

The most likely reason is that you are not turned on enough when you have sex. See Arousal Difficulties for more about this.
Another reason is that the relationship you have is not working for some reason and you are angry but not showing it.
The pain may be "in your head". People think this means you are making it up, but it is a real pain. It is very likely to get better with Sex Therapy and a therapist will take you through this at a pace which is right for you. Any hidden bad feelings that you have, can be talked about and got better in the therapy.

Treatment for Fear of Penetration in Men

Tue, 08 Feb 2005 19:05:04 +0000

Greg is a 24 year old with a lifelong fear of sexual penetration. Ever since he became aware of his own sexuality he has known that he has not wanted to have intercourse. He says that he is heterosexual and that all his fantasies are about women. He can masturbate to these and has had a series of girlfriends - with whom he has been sexually active. He can achieve penetration, but is aware of a general anxiety that sweeps over him. He says that he prefers his girlfriend to masturbate him with her hand, or that they masturbate themselves in from of each other.

He and his partner Joanna want to get married and start a family. Greg wants to deal with his problem. Joanna thinks that Greg is frightened of being intimate with her, and possibly not wanting to make a commitment to marriage. Greg denies thus, and they have both argued a lot about this before coming to see a therapist.

Case Story for Fear of Penetration in Men

Fear of Penetration

Sex Problems for Men

Treatment for Loss of Sexual Desire in Men

Sun, 13 Feb 2005 16:57:26 +0000

If you have noticed a change in your level of sexual desire, it may be a normal effect of stress or tiredness, chronic pain and illness, or simply that you are getting older. Loss of a close relative or loved on is a very natural reason to lose sexual desire.

Loss of desire in these cases, except for during bereavement, can be improved by increasing the time you spend thinking about sex, inventing some new fantasies, trying new things with your partner,and masturbating more often, but not so often that your ability to be sexual in other ways is impaired. During bereavement, you just have to wait until your mourning is over.

If you are in a relationship, it is really important to talk things over with your partner. There may be hidden anger or resentment which are the commonest reasons for reduced desire with a partner. If your partner is angry with you, you may pick it up at an unconscious level, and be affected by it. If you are angry with your partner, the same thing can happen. Partners often blame themselves, thinking they are no longer attractive to you, or that you don't love them any more.

If talking to each other is too difficult, a therapist could help you get the ball rolling.

Treatment for Premature Ejaculation

Tue, 08 Feb 2005 18:48:18 +0000

The first part of overcoming Premature Ejaculation is thinking about the situation and how it is affecting you. Think what makes it better or worse, and any self help you have tried. It can be useful to talk over your previous sexual history with a therapist. Family traditions and ideas about sex may also be important.

One thing to remember is that usually there is nothing wrong with the penis.

Once the underlying causes of the difficulty have been addressed your therapist may prescribe sex therapy exercises, with special training work for ejaculation. These will be slightly different according to whether you have a partner willing to join in the therapy or not. The two main techniques for therapy are the Squeeze Technique and the Stop Start Technique.

There are various drugs which can help with this problem, and using them alongside the practical techniques can be really effective. Sometimes the medication on its own can be enough.

Medication for Premature Ejaculation

Case Story for Premature Ejaculation

Premature Ejaculation

Sex Problems for Men

Treatment for Painful Sex in Men

Wed, 02 Feb 2005 11:55:48 +0000

If the pain has a medical cause, the the treatment may be a combination of medical and psychological approaches. We are not describing all the medical treatments on this web site, but if you want to mail us we will answer your questions. Click on "contact us" on the side bar.

The first step in treatment is to try to discover the reasons for the pain, so a sexual, relationship, and life history will be discussed.
Sometimes body tension causes pain, and Relaxation Training can help.
Deeper reasons may be helped by Self Hypnosis, which may also be effective as pain control.
Most men experiencing painful sex will be helped by Sex Therapy and a therapist will be able to guide you through it at a pace suited to you and tailored to your own particular needs.

Case Story for Painful Sex in Men

Painful Sex or Dyspareunia in Men

Sex Problems for Men

Treatment for Vaginismus

Sun, 12 Nov 2006 17:18:57 +0000

First we want to understand the causes of the tightening up of the vagina, so a full discussion is important before embarking on any treatment. Also talking together allows the woman and the therapist to get used to each other, and builds a trust between them, which is necessary in this type of work.

Some of the common causes for this troublesome condition are:
· Lack of knowledge, wrong beliefs, strict upbringing,
· Past infection, trauma, or injury in the genital area,
· Difficult relationship with your partner,
· Concerns about intimacy or commitment,
· Difficult childbirth or genital surgery,
· Sexual trauma.
All these can be discussed and helped before doing any physical work.

Sometimes there are deeper reasons, and therapy, counselling or hypnotherapy would help with these. There may have been Sexual Abuse which would need extra time and care to recover from.

In treatment, the vagina has to be taught to become less tense, by accepting touch on the outside at first, then gradually a cotton bud, finger or small trainer on the inside. Larger Vaginal Trainers can then be introduced. When the vagina can accept all sizes of trainers, it is usually able to relax sufficiently to have intercourse, and Sex Therapy helps with this.

Psychological Treatment for Erection Problems

Tue, 19 Apr 2005 17:41:44 +0100

The psychological causes of erection difficulties are most often related to fear of failure, performance pressure and anxiety. There may be relationship stresses which make the problem worse. You really need to see a therapist for psychological treatment.

The first stage is to understand all the things which are causing the problem. There is often more than one cause. As far as possible, it is better to be seen with your partner if you have one, as it is much easier to overcome the psychological causes with the help of a partner. This is especially so where the problem only happens in the relationship.

Once the causes are understood, the next steps will be agreed with the therapist. Sometimes there are Sexual Abuse issues to be managed. Relationship stresses may need to be resolved. Any unrealistic expectations will have to be changed.

In the end, the most effective treatment will probably be sex therapy, but at first you may not be ready for it. Your therapist will guide you through it, and deal with any obstacles along the way.
A userful book is The New Male Sexuality, by Bernie Zilebergeld

Getting Help

Erection Problems

Sex Problems for Men

Mechanical Treatments for Erection Problems

Fri, 28 Jan 2005 19:48:24 +0000

 Full information about the mechanical choices open to you can be read on the web site of the manufacturer at Owen Mumford.

Once you have seen the information, you may want to speak to a therapist to help you decide on what is right for you.
Or you may have made your decision, and want to contact a therapist to help you decide how to make it part of your lovemaking. All of us are able and willing to discuss these choices with you.

Getting Help

Medical Treatments for Erection Problems

Psychological Treatment for Erection Problems

Erection Problems

Genital Lubricants

Tue, 01 Feb 2005 15:00:55 +0000

KY Jelly- Available in a range of sizes, this is the best known and most often used lubricant. However it can feel cold, and become sticky. It is available on most chemist shops at about £2 53 per 82g Tube. Try it, and if you don't like it, try something else.
Aquagel- Very like KY, but some people say it is less cold. £1.27 per 82g Tube. Available from FPA SexWare Catalogue
Sylk- Is more liquid, and like the natural vaginal fluid. It is not n oil, but a polymer. It costs about £9.95 per 40ml, from FPA SexWare Catalogue
Senselle- Very like Sylk, and available from Boots and other chemist shops at about £2.25 per10ml, £5.75 per 40ml. High street chemists and FPA SexWare Catalogue have it.
Replens- Is a pessary containing hormones and is meant for menopausal women who may have dryness of the vagina because of the lessening of oestrogen that happens in the menopause. Insert one every three days or so. £3.85 per pack of 3, £6.95 per pack of 6. Available from FPA SexWare Catalogue, and most chemists.
Vaseline- Is a tried and trusted method, if rather old fashioned. There are nicer products. Never use it with condoms or diaphragms as it may damage the latex.
Other oils- Vegetable oils are OK in some cases, but be careful that what you use will not cause an allergy, or damage condoms or diaphragms.

Anger Management

Fri, 28 Jan 2005 19:43:18 +0000

The key to the management of anger is self awareness. Most people do not blow up about tiny things, unless the tiny thing acts as a trigger to set off a reaction that really belongs to another thing. For example, a man may explode because his son left the newspaper folded badly, when what is really making him angry is worry about money, fear of redundancy and just finding out his father is dangerously ill.

The first step is to write a list of the things that make you angry, and a detailed account of the last 3 outbursts and what was on your mind at the time. Next write your lifestory, and remember times of upset as you were growing up. Remember the people who made you angry or hurt you. Think about how you feel as you remember them now.
See if there are any connections between any of those things. A therapist may be able to help you with this, as they know what to look for. If you can see connections, it may help you to understand the reasons for your anger being hard to manage.
The next step is to watch yourself very carefully and notice when you start to feel angry. At that point stop whatever is going on, and make connections with the step before. (This means you will have to slow down!) If you make a connection, you will see that some of the anger comes from the past, or to another situation.

Relaxation Training

Fri, 28 Jan 2005 19:39:36 +0000

Babies are born quite relaxed, but learn to fear, to be anxious and to be stressed. Later in life, we can learn how to relax again- sometimes a vital part of dealing with a sexual or relationship problem. Your therapist will assess any difficulties you have with relaxing, as well as help you identify the situations when you are most likely to become anxious or tense. You can learn how to breathe deeply, and then through a systematic programme of taped exercise, identify tension and how to release it immediately. Relaxation training is effective, and is often a good start in therapy where you may want to make an 'early gain'.

Case Story for Relaxation Difficulty

Relaxation Training as Therapy

Getting Help

Using Vaginal Trainers

Fri, 28 Jan 2005 19:37:17 +0000

The trainers are graded in size, from the size of a rather fat finger to the largest one being equal to a large penis. If a vagina can take the largest trainer, it can manage a penis! Sometimes the smallest is not small enough, so you could start with a cotton bud, or something similar.

You will need plenty of Genital Lubricants, like KY jelly or oil to help your trainer to slip into the vagina. Start with the smallest size that gives pressure on the walls of the vagina. If it does not give pressure then it is not helping. You should feel strong pressure, but not pain.

Squeezing and relaxing the muscles that control your pee will ease the pressure. It will also help the spasm. It is those muscles which cause the pain of vaginismus. The squeezing and relaxing is called Kegel's Exercises

Once the pressure is gone, move on to the next size. If you can manage the largest trainer, you can manage a penis. (Even a large one)

You can order trainers from this site by clicking here

Sex Therapy

Vaginismus

Case Story for Vaginismus

Vaginal Trainers

Getting Help

Vaginal Trainers

Sun, 27 Aug 2006 12:02:08 +0100

The purpose of trainers is to teach the vagina to allow something in without going into spasm. It is important to start with something small and easy, and then go on to something bigger.

Amielle Vaginal Trainers are white plastic hollow rods with a grey plastic handle that fits all four sizes. The sizes are about the same as the Stanley Trainers, but not so long. They come in a pink zipped wallet, with Sylk lubricant and a cleaning brush. You can order them directly from our on-line shop .

Stanley Trainers are white plastic rods, the length of an erect penis, and with a round knob on the end you hold. They come in widths of 20mm, 25mm, and 30mm. you can get them from http://www.bbraun.com or by post from B.Braun Medical Ltd. Thorncliffe Park, Sheffield S35 2PW Phone 0114 225 9000

Sims Glass Dilators are hollow glass tubes, shorter than either of the other trainers. They come in 6 sizes, 25, 29, 30, 32, 33, 35mm, and increasing lengths at £52 for the set, or individually priced . You can get them from B. Braun, as above.

Stents are another form of dilator or trainer, designed especially to help the vagina after surgery or trauma has caused it to tighten up with scar tissue. See http://www.stentsitive.com for further details. The web site is full of more information than we can accommodate here, and we recommend it to you.

Kegel's Exercises

Sun, 03 Sep 2006 19:12:42 +0100

These exercises are for three main uses.

   1. They help to improve the muscles in the pelvis after childbirth
   2. They help to increase pleasure with intercourse
   3. They help a woman with vaginismus to control the muscle spasms which cause her pain. 
   4. They can help women with vulval pain. See http://www.vulvalpainsociety.org/html/pelvicfloor.htm for more help with this.

The muscles you need to exercise are the ones at the opening to the vagina. If you sit on the loo, start to pee, and then try to stop, it is that movement which is called Kegel's Exercises. You simply squeeze that band of muscles.
You can check if you are doing it right. With a finger inside your vagina, squeeze hard, and your finger will feel the movement.
To get better muscle tone after a baby, do ten squeezes every hour you are awake. nobody can see you doing them!
To increase pleasure with intercourse, practice the movement so you know you've got it right, then do it ten times an hour, and during masturbation and lovemaking. You will soon feel the difference, and, with luck, so will your partner.
To help with the vaginal trainers, practice the movement before using the trainers, then squeeze and release when you push a trainer into the vagina. It will make the pressure feel less, and help the trainer in.