Partner Therapy Group - Sex, Self Help, Physical Aids

Self Hypnosis

Tue, 15 Feb 2005 09:32:15 +0000

xxxx

To be added.

Sexual Response in Women

Sat, 12 Feb 2005 18:43:35 +0000

For women sex is often about finding a partner and a relationship. Feeling close and warm is more important for women than it is for men. The stages of the sexual response cycle are arousal, orgasm and resolution .

Arousal

This starts with excitement, and then then reaches a plateau. In the excitement phase an increase in the blood flow to the sexual parts causes the sexual lips and the vagina to enlarge. The vagina becomes wet inside. The speed and strength of arousal vary greatly.

The plateau is a steady state of high arousal, just before orgasm. It needs a little more exciting touch to tip over into knowing you are going to come. Sometimes rubbing near the clitoris helps this.

Orgasm

This is an intense pleasurable sensation in the area of the sexual parts, with rhythmic spasms of the wall of the vagina and the other sexual organs. The skin may flush as well. Some women are able to have a number of orgasms one after another. Every woman is different when it comes to orgasm. Some have very strong orgasms, and others do not have any orgasm at all. Both are normal.

Resolution

This is when everything goes back to its usual state before you became aroused. The longer a woman has been aroused, the longer it takes to go back. If the woman does not have an orgasm then it takes even longer.

UK Dating Agencies for People with Disabilities

Wed, 02 Feb 2005 11:23:17 +0000

The Association of British Introduction Agencies
Tel: 020 7937 2800
Can provide a list of local commercial agencies nationwide.

Dates for the Disabled
36 Park Grove Edgware Middlesex HA8 7SJ
Tel: 020 8958 9657

Disability Now
6 Market Road London N7 9PW
Tel: 020 7619 7323
A monthly newspaper with a "Find a Friend" column.

Handidate
Wellington Centre
The Association of British Introduction Agencies
Tel: 020 7937 2800
Can provide a list of local commercial agencies nationwide.

Mutual Essential Links
1 Weir Street Northwich Cheshire CW9 5HL
Tel: 01606 49093

The Outsiders' Club
Box 4ZB London W1A 4ZB
Provides list of members, literature and social outlets for mature men and women who are looking for friendship and mutual help.

Sex Information for Women

Tue, 01 Feb 2005 12:53:42 +0000

Sex is a natural part of being a woman. As with most natural things in the body, like eating and sleeping, sex can be upset by a number of different causes.

Firstly, there may be medical illnesses, like diabetes, high blood pressure, and depression, where a sexual problem can be the first sign that there is anything wrong. Some medical treatments can cause sexual problems, and you will want to know how long the effect will last. There may be hormones out of balance after childbirth. It is often wise to see your doctor if you have a sexual problem.
Other common causes are:

not knowing how to respond or what to expect
not having enough time to relax
difficulties in the relationship with your partner
a partner who is unwilling or does not like sex
too much stress and pressure in life
hormone changes with the menstual cycle, pregnancy and childbirth.
the menopause.

Most sexual problems have more than one cause, and most can be helped to get better.

Sex Problems for Women

Sex Hormones in Women

The Effects of Aging on Sex in Women

Masturbation

Mechanical Treatments for Erection Problems

Fri, 28 Jan 2005 19:48:24 +0000

 Full information about the mechanical choices open to you can be read on the web site of the manufacturer at Owen Mumford.

Once you have seen the information, you may want to speak to a therapist to help you decide on what is right for you.
Or you may have made your decision, and want to contact a therapist to help you decide how to make it part of your lovemaking. All of us are able and willing to discuss these choices with you.

Getting Help

Medical Treatments for Erection Problems

Psychological Treatment for Erection Problems

Erection Problems

Genital Lubricants

Tue, 01 Feb 2005 15:00:55 +0000

KY Jelly- Available in a range of sizes, this is the best known and most often used lubricant. However it can feel cold, and become sticky. It is available on most chemist shops at about £2 53 per 82g Tube. Try it, and if you don't like it, try something else.
Aquagel- Very like KY, but some people say it is less cold. £1.27 per 82g Tube. Available from FPA SexWare Catalogue
Sylk- Is more liquid, and like the natural vaginal fluid. It is not n oil, but a polymer. It costs about £9.95 per 40ml, from FPA SexWare Catalogue
Senselle- Very like Sylk, and available from Boots and other chemist shops at about £2.25 per10ml, £5.75 per 40ml. High street chemists and FPA SexWare Catalogue have it.
Replens- Is a pessary containing hormones and is meant for menopausal women who may have dryness of the vagina because of the lessening of oestrogen that happens in the menopause. Insert one every three days or so. £3.85 per pack of 3, £6.95 per pack of 6. Available from FPA SexWare Catalogue, and most chemists.
Vaseline- Is a tried and trusted method, if rather old fashioned. There are nicer products. Never use it with condoms or diaphragms as it may damage the latex.
Other oils- Vegetable oils are OK in some cases, but be careful that what you use will not cause an allergy, or damage condoms or diaphragms.

Using Vaginal Trainers

Fri, 28 Jan 2005 19:37:17 +0000

The trainers are graded in size, from the size of a rather fat finger to the largest one being equal to a large penis. If a vagina can take the largest trainer, it can manage a penis! Sometimes the smallest is not small enough, so you could start with a cotton bud, or something similar.

You will need plenty of Genital Lubricants, like KY jelly or oil to help your trainer to slip into the vagina. Start with the smallest size that gives pressure on the walls of the vagina. If it does not give pressure then it is not helping. You should feel strong pressure, but not pain.

Squeezing and relaxing the muscles that control your pee will ease the pressure. It will also help the spasm. It is those muscles which cause the pain of vaginismus. The squeezing and relaxing is called Kegel's Exercises

Once the pressure is gone, move on to the next size. If you can manage the largest trainer, you can manage a penis. (Even a large one)

You can order trainers from this site by clicking here

Sex Therapy

Vaginismus

Case Story for Vaginismus

Vaginal Trainers

Getting Help

Vaginal Trainers

Wed, 21 Jul 2010 01:21:30 +0100

The purpose of trainers is to teach the vagina to allow something in without going into spasm. It is important to start with something small and easy, and then go on to something bigger.

Amielle Vaginal Trainers are white plastic hollow rods with a grey plastic handle that fits all four sizes. The sizes are about the same as the Stanley Trainers, but not so long. They come in a pink zipped wallet, with Sylk lubricant and a cleaning brush. .

Stanley Trainers are white plastic rods, the length of an erect penis, and with a round knob on the end you hold. They come in widths of 20mm, 25mm, and 30mm. you can get them from http://www.bbraun.com or by post from B.Braun Medical Ltd. Thorncliffe Park, Sheffield S35 2PW Phone 0114 225 9000

Sims Glass Dilators are hollow glass tubes, shorter than either of the other trainers. They come in 6 sizes, 25, 29, 30, 32, 33, 35mm, and increasing lengths at £52 for the set, or individually priced . You can get them from B. Braun, as above.

Stents are another form of dilator or trainer, designed especially to help the vagina after surgery or trauma has caused it to tighten up with scar tissue. See http://www.stentsitive.com for further details. The web site is full of more information than we can accommodate here, and we recommend it to you.

Kegel's Exercises

Sun, 03 Sep 2006 19:12:42 +0100

These exercises are for three main uses.

   1. They help to improve the muscles in the pelvis after childbirth
   2. They help to increase pleasure with intercourse
   3. They help a woman with vaginismus to control the muscle spasms which cause her pain. 
   4. They can help women with vulval pain. See http://www.vulvalpainsociety.org/html/pelvicfloor.htm for more help with this.

The muscles you need to exercise are the ones at the opening to the vagina. If you sit on the loo, start to pee, and then try to stop, it is that movement which is called Kegel's Exercises. You simply squeeze that band of muscles.
You can check if you are doing it right. With a finger inside your vagina, squeeze hard, and your finger will feel the movement.
To get better muscle tone after a baby, do ten squeezes every hour you are awake. nobody can see you doing them!
To increase pleasure with intercourse, practice the movement so you know you've got it right, then do it ten times an hour, and during masturbation and lovemaking. You will soon feel the difference, and, with luck, so will your partner.
To help with the vaginal trainers, practice the movement before using the trainers, then squeeze and release when you push a trainer into the vagina. It will make the pressure feel less, and help the trainer in.

Stop Start Technique

Wed, 02 Feb 2005 11:25:10 +0000

Overcoming Premature Ejaculation takes time and effort, but should be almost entirely successful, as there is usually nothing wrong with the penis. It is caused by anxiety and lack of attention to what the penis needs. Often there are other worries too, about pleasing the partner, being discovered and feeling embarrassed, or ashamed. You may like to see a therapist to help with these aspects.

Set aside three 20 minute slots each week, when you can be private and uninterrupted.
First masturbate very slowly, noticing carefully what sensations you get in your penis at the increasing levels of arousal before you are ready to come.
At the point just before you would come, stop touching and wait for the intense arousal to go down. You may lose the erection, but you will get it back. If you were too late stopping, and came, try again later, and stop a little earlier in the arousal.
Repeat three times, then allow yourself to come.
Do this three times a week, and after three weeks you should notice some improvement. Carry on, and you will overcome your problem.

Sex Therapy

Squeeze Technique

Premature Ejaculation

Sex Problems for Men

Getting Help

Squeeze Technique

Fri, 28 Jan 2005 18:50:59 +0000

Squeeze Technique
To make this technique work, you need to be prepared to set aside private and uninterrupted time three times a week. Don't be tempted to give up if after a few tries nothing seems to be changing. It can take a while to get the hang of it. Often it can take 30 attempts to learn the moment to squeeze, so giving up after 29 would be a mistake!

The place to squeeze is just below the glans, the rounded part at the top of the penis. If you have a foreskin, pull it back so the glans is uncovered.
Stroke and caress your whole genital area. This consists of the glans, the shaft of the penis, the testicles or balls, the area behind the balls which is called the perineum, and the anal rim. 5 parts altogether.
Practice touching and pleasuring all these parts so you are very aware of how each part feels in the stages of arousal before you are going to come.
Now increase your pleasure to a high state of arousal, and when you reach the point when you think you will come, squeeze the penis hard and hold ot for 20 to 30 seconds. The erection may go down, but you can get it back. If you were too late with your squeeze, try again later and squeeze a little earlier in your arousal.

Am I Gay?

Sun, 23 Jan 2005 18:56:39 +0000

Almost everyone, at one time in their lives, will have been attracted to a person of the same gender, but not necessarily felt sexual attraction. We all have idols, heroes or heroines during our growing years, and for many, that is where it ends. But for about 10-15% of the adult population, the feelings of attraction to a person of the same gender persist.

Trying to identify your true sexual orientation may be difficult for some, who might be distressed at the feelings of sexual attraction, and experience behavioural changes, like withdrawal, unwillingness to go out socially, mood swings, eating difficulties, and problems with concentration.

The question 'Am I gay' can be a cause of great pain and turmoil to many women and men alike. In particular, those who have had a strict religious upbringing can suffer very much if they find themselves attracted to a person of the same gender. Many people suppress their true feelings and form heterosexual relationships, leading to marriage or longterm partnerships in an attempt to be 'normal' or acceptable to family, friends and society. Others suppress their feelings with alcohol, drugs, or even overwork. Sadly, a number of gifted, talented people have committed suicide, rather than face the disapproval or judgment of family members. People do not choose to be gay, they either are or are not, although to date there is no proof that it is either 'in the genes' or determined by experiences in early life.

Unconsummated Marriage or Relationship

Sun, 23 Jan 2005 19:30:32 +0000

This means a couple are unable to have sexual intercourse because of fear or inability to have penetrative sex. Sometimes they are completely mystified as to why this is happening to them.

Non-consummation is frequently thought of as a women’s issue but this is not always so. It can be a shaming and difficult for couples to talk about. It can become a heavy secret, which can weigh upon a couple for many years.

Non-consummation has many causes. These may include fear of sex, inappropriate advice or information from friends and family, Vaginismus, (painful spasm at the entrance of the vagina, which makes penetration impossible), Erection Problems or Impotence , fear of pregnancy, childhood Sexual Abuse, incest and/or rape in both men and women; feelings of contamination, and many others.

With non-consummation the body and mind may both be saying ‘no’, or there may be a conflict between these two parts of ourselves. These are issues which can be explored and understood through the process of Sex Therapy.

Sex Problems for Men

Sex Problems for Women

Sexual Abuse

Mon, 14 Feb 2005 18:50:02 +0000

Men and women survivors of sexual, physical and emotional abuse often have sexual and relationship difficulties. These may include fear of intimacy, Vaginismus, (painful spasm at the entrance to the vagina), Erection Problems or Impotence, Loss of Sexual Desire or Libido, phobias and body image issues to name but a few.

The impact on sexual relationships may be great. Abuse, either as a child or young adult can cause feelings of shame and confusion. Not all abuse is frightening or painful and this makes confusion worse.

In therapy, we work with the emotional, physical and intellectual effects of being abused and how this may affect adult relationships and make being an adult in the world more difficult. Self-image and self-perception may form some part of the work, and can be interwoven within the Sex Therapy sessions.

Sex Problems for Women

Sex Problems for Men

Case Story for Sexual Abuse

The Effects of Aging on Sex in Men

Tue, 01 Feb 2005 14:42:55 +0000

In men, hormone levels usually go down very gradually from a peak in late teens onwards. In some men, a quicker drop in their late fifties leads to symptoms like the menopause in women. These can be hot flushes, aches and pains in joints, loss of energy, including libido, and a sense of slowing up mentally.

The Sexual Response in Men is affected. Erections come less easily and less often. They are less hard, and once they have gone down are more difficult to get back. Orgasms are less intense and rhythmic spasms of the muscles are over quicker. The amount of semen is less and the refractory period after orgasm is longer. While the need to ejaculate is less intense, sexual satisfaction amongst older men is often said to be good. The ability to continue being sexual certainly remains an important part of the older man’s self-image..

The frequency of sexual activity goes down with age but is very varied. Men who start having sex early in life are more likely to go on till late in life. The amount of sexual activity depends on having or getting a partner. The longer a couple have been together the less sex they have.

Sex Information for Men

[Sex Problems for Me