Partner Therapy Group - General

Bogus Products and Vaginal Looseness

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 11:02:27 +0000

We have suddenly noticed a number of posting for dubious products, especially those which claim to 'cure' a 'loose vagina' or 'vaginal loosneness'.
As service to the public, we'd like to ask you to contribute comments (on to the end of this post) on any products like this that you come across. Please do not include URL's in your listings, they will be removed. We'd like to generate a 'rogue's gallery' of bogus products for reference.

Thanks in advance for your cooperation.

Partner Therapy Group

gay porn (can't stop watching it)

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 08:13:18 +0000

Hello I have been watching gay porn for a while now and I dont know what to do. I can't stop watching it just like i can't stop watching porn period. But I'am beginning to think something is worng with me I look at men having oral sex with other men. I don't like to watch it but It's like I have to. I don't like guys or anything but I can't help but wounder it this is the beginning of me being gay? I'm not turned on by it i just look at it but I have to look at it. Is this all apart of being addicted to porn or is this something more. I have a wife and new baby and I'm confused. Does any one have any suggestions on this is issue?

Rowing

Sat, 22 Dec 2007 10:52:46 +0000

I have been with my partner for 12 years, during which time we have went through it all. Disapprovals of the age gap, the physchotic ex-wife, exorbitant demand from the CSA and the using of the kids as pawns in the eternal mind games.

All the kids are now adults and just when things should be better, we just seem to row constantly, well more I seem to want to argue. Most of it stems from his youngest son, who is a complete waster and is following in the footsteps of his older brother, who has drug and alcohol problems and has spent most of the last 12 year in and out of prison. The boy tells lies constantly, steals and is always bumming money. He stayed with us from the age of 16 to 18 in an attempt to sort him out but left 18 months ago, when he stole the car, wrote it off and then accused me of making a pass at him. My partner has never spoken with the boy about the lies he told about me and that hurts. Subsequently everytime he is mentioned I seem to lose the plot and launch a tirade at my partner for all the petty things that have annoyed me for years and about the way he is not addressing his youngests attitude and behaviour. We had a similar situation with the oldest boy and I feel history is repeating itself

Loving relationship is breaking down (because of porn)

Wed, 19 Dec 2007 12:16:20 +0000

I have been with my partner for just over 2 years now. I have a 4 year-old daughter from a previous relationship and we are expecting our first child in February.

We have a wonderful relationship he and I. We have great communicating skills, we complete each other on various levels, our one problem is in bed. When we first started dating, sex was almost every night. One time, I found a porn dvd in his dvd player and was quite appalled. He said he didn't need it, that I was all he needed (this after he had already deleted the porn off his computer). Six months into our relationship we moved in together and the sex, although less frequent was still very much present.

It started declining when I told him that I didn't want to spend so much time watching porn while doing it. Right after that, sex outside the bed became "dirty" and "wrong" to him. Not only that, if/when I initiate, he turns me down. I asked what I could do to maybe get some more (another problem I have is a very high libido), he answered to "always be naked, 'cause you just never know". I am a submissive person but I think this is all getting rather ridiculous.

I see porn almost as a form of cheating especially when your wife/gf is READY and WILLING at all times... He has lied to me repeatedly regarding watching porn online and on tv and about a month ago,while we were waiting for him in the car, my daughter pulled down his sun visor and a funny looking pamphlet fell out. I grabbed it, it was a pamphlet from his work but he had cut out hundreds of pics of women, all in the same position that he likes. I was quite angry not only by it but by the fact that my daughter found it (luckily she didn't see the content). I angrily ripped it up and threw the bits on the floor on his side of the car. To me, that was the last straw.

Recovering from vaginismus - what is normal?

Sun, 16 Dec 2007 10:24:52 +0000

I have been with my fiance for 6 years. During the first two years everything was normal until I went for a smear test, had a horrifically painful experience and developed vaginismus. The years rolled on with me making half hearted attempts to treat the condition with varying success. Now four years down the line my fiance has finally lost patience and wanted to try again so we did. I as shocked to find that after the first couple of mins of pain (he just stays still while I concentrate to relax the muscles) I could actually have sex and the muscles were not forcing him out. We have now managed to have sex a further 4 times. I have two questions:
1. It requires so much concentration to keep the muscles relaxed. How can I further train them just to relax so I can start enjoying myself again.
2. Afterwards I have a feeling of being 'bruised' and sore inside which can last for several days. I this just because the muscles are still too tight?

lost of erection

Tue, 13 Nov 2007 08:54:09 +0000

i am a male 44yrs old and have been married for 24 yrs to my wife..we had alot ups and downs in the past years and find it hard to go through problems again...the last year or so ive been having problems with my erection. when it comes to intercourse i lose my erection and get nervous. i dont want to dissapoint my wife any more. Although i am very attracted to her and do desire her alot, but get nervous when it comes to intercourse. This problem has occured after she found some porn vids that i had hid from her. i was so ashamed when she approached me that i cant get over it.. she totally freaked when she found them and i cant seem to get it out of my head.. We have discussed this matter and she told me to get over it. What can i do.. really like for someone to understand my stress.

Erections?

Thu, 11 Oct 2007 20:47:00 +0100

I am a women, not a man, so I don't understand men and their erections and why some times they get it, don't, and other times only get some what hard. The other night, my boyfriend didn't get a full erection. This has never happened in the four years we have been together and I can't figure out why all of a sudden this happened?? I can sit here all day thinking of maddening answers to this question, but as I said previously, I am not a man. Is it emotional, like he doesn't know if I might be cheating on him or not, or is it that he finds other women hotter then me and just isn't attracted to me as he use to, or.... , the list is endless. I don't want to freak out about this, but at the same time, this has never happened before, I have never had an issue with turning him on in the past or him being turned on. Answers would be so wonderful!!! Please help!!!!

Can a relationship with no sex work?

Mon, 24 Sep 2007 20:26:03 +0100

i love my boyfriend of 2 wonderful years. We do everything together, he hugs me, kisses me. But we had sex less than 5 times in the period of 2 years. Everything apart from the sex is wonderful. I have asked him for the reason, he could not give me one. I find myself very unattractive and so not desired sexually. He says he doesnt feel that way for me. I thought it was an impotent problem. But i found out that he could get an erection while watching porn. But never with me. it saddens me very much. he tells me he loves me very much. and i'm sure his not cheating. so please tell me what to do. i love him, and do not know what to say to him, and i dont want to lose this relationship.

Ex-husband seems to be confused about his sexuality

Wed, 08 Aug 2007 21:36:51 +0100

My husband and I are recently divorced and two months ago we decided to reconcile and he moved back in with me and our two children. He has told me about two male dates he had where he met them at their homes or they met him at his. The latest is that he went out with what he thought was a woman and upon fooling around, discovered it was a male! He says he only wants to be with me, but I think he is very confused about his sexuality and has been for sometime. I just don't know if I can live with someone who is obviously attracted to males. He says it is a turn on and it is only something to do to mix it up a bit........Any advice here?

she needs a break [but I feel terrible]

Wed, 08 Aug 2007 15:11:18 +0100

My relationship with Jill started on the wrong footing - she still
loved the man she was with but they drifted apart and we were all
vulnerable (i was ill) when our relationship began, it was not a clean
break from her ex but as it happened he moved on to another woman and
we got closer.
It was four months since we decided to see each other
officially and we had just come back from a wonderful holiday in
Ireland, she goes back home for three days and finds out her ex. has
finished his relationship with the other woman. She still loves the
guy but more as a friend than lover (she says) and wonders if
splitting with him was a mistake. She insists that I am her lover and
not at all a mistake, which is what i felt for a moment, though admits
to being confused.
The biggest thing she has dufficulty with, is an
intense feeling of guilt towards her ex. For that reason she says she
needs a couple of months time out, (which she felt she should have had
earlier but things were too intense) I cannot see how this will lessen
the guilt feeling but I have agreed. At the end of a wonderful evening
we both agreed to one or two months separation and it is already
driving me NUTS and now fear the worst.

I'm too sensitive to the way he touches me...

Wed, 08 Aug 2007 15:12:28 +0100

I'm sure that other women have this problem so I'm not crazy, but I have always been quite sensitive to the point where I find sexual touch very ticklish and hard to endure. I have tried to explain this to my husband, who doesn't seem to take any notice and keeps touching me in a way that I can't help but react to in a way that makes him feel rejected. I have felt even more sensitive since having a baby 4 years ago and have had hardly any sex drive or desire to have sex. This is a huge problem for my husband and but every time I try to talk to him about it he clams up and gets all defensive and is not showing any understanding about it. I am wondering if it is a physical problem that I can do something about by taking herbal medicines or even something pre-scribed by my doctor, or is this something I cannot change about my body and my husband just has to accept and deal with?

22 Year Old Male - Can't Cum During oral/vaginal Sex

Wed, 11 Jul 2007 20:12:26 +0100

Hi, I am a 22 year old male and cannot cum during oral or vaginal sex. I have just recently lost my virginity.

Embarassingly, from the age of 6 to about 18 I would hump the floor without an erection and orgasm that way. That is correct, I actually had orgasms at the age of 6. I did not start ejaculating until probably around my teenage years however.

When I was in my early teens, I learned that masturbation was not to be done with a floor, but with your hand, and I attempted to convert. However, despite trying with my hand for a while, perhaps a week or two, I could not orgasm. Maintaining an erection while masturbating was easy however. I soon gave up as traditional masturbation was not pleasurable. I then went back to humping the floor while limp, without an erection.

From time to time I would try to orgasm through hand masturabation, but it would never work, and I would revert back to the floor. I still had frequent erections, probably as often as any other teenage male.

When I turned 18, I decided that this had to stop and that I had to masturbate with my hand. I forced myself to masturbate with my hand for several weeks without ever getting off. I finally started to cum, but masturbation with my hand was much less pleasurable than with the floor. It would also take alot of time for me to get off with my hand, and I'd often need some sort of lotion to make it happen. Despite this, I would not masturbate with the floor, I would continue to use my hand.

I think I have Issues... please Diagnose!

Wed, 27 Jun 2007 08:36:40 +0100

Hello, Im a male and I have a reoccurring problem. It is basically that i get to know women, fall for them and get really excited and happy for about the first 1-2 months of dating. Then i feel like they are getting on my nerves, like seeing the same woman each time and getting so used to their personality that it almost starts irritating you because you find all the imperfections in it. Now i really don't know what's wrong with me... is it commitment issues or I don't even know what. I also feel like i get bored in relationships and I can never be fully satisfied. I always wonder what my friends think of her and if they approve and how she is making me look amongst friends and in public.

If you can help me it will be much appreciated

thanks.

Can anyone explain her actions?

Sun, 24 Jun 2007 22:30:37 +0100

I had a girlfriend who broke my heart 4 years ago, during this time i met and fell for another girl, she fell for me even more so. We went out for a year, it was amazing but I was afraid of being hurt again and pushed her away, she eventually met sombody else and in my jealousy and anger i pushed her away completly eg quit our place of work, deleted number, refused to speak to her totally.

2 quick years passed as she moved in with her new boyfriend. I was applying for a job at a new place and when i went on my interview day she was there having an interview aswell.. you can call it fate perhaps but we both got the job. I hadnt seen her in 2 years and i thought it would be awkward but it was anything but, we got on even better. We flirted to the extent that managers had to have words with us. She then started to tell me she's falling for me again and thinks she's in love with me but confused as she also loves her boyfriend. She told me if she broke up with her boyfriend she would jump at the chance to be with me.

A year passed with us constantly flirting together and being so close however she couldnt leave her boyfriend. She quit our workplace to get another job, 2 weeks after i quit also. Then a week later her boyfriend said he doesnt love her anymore and finished with her, she was so heartbroken and i was the only one there for her. I didnt want to take advantage as i truly cared for her and i didnt want tobe a rebound so i kept my distance while trying to support and get her through it.

I think I have a problem?

Fri, 08 Jun 2007 19:27:34 +0100

I have been in a relationship for almost four years now. Me and my boyfriend have been living together for three years in August. We moved in together after he graduated from high school. Things have been good in our relationship. For being so young, we have had a pretty good 3 years. We never had to ask anyone for help, as we make out on our own just fine. Before we got an apartment together, I was living with an older woman, watching her kids nonstop and never had my own things, so moving into my own home was a big change. I have never really had a stable home, because my mother is basically irresponsible, and I never met my father.

So, right now, I feel really comfortable. I have never been more stable, as far as having a roof over my head and having what I need. However, here's the problem. About a year and a half ago, me and my boyfriend would argue nonstop. It would even get physical. I would provoke him by pushing him around and and getting in his face, and then he would put his hands on me for revenge and so forth. We were basically a mess. After we started doing that, I was embarrassed to even go outside sometimes, afraid that my neighbors could hear us. I'm starting to get over it though. It wasn't that bad, the yelling was the worst. I wouldn't put him or I in the category of being "physically abusive", because we are not that type.