Partner Therapy Group - Sex Problems for Men

Unable To Ejaculate

Thu, 13 Mar 2008 09:08:34 +0000

My girlfriend and I are very serious. We have been going out for quite some time and have been sexually active. I'm only 20 and i'm still a virgin and have no problem with that. My problem is in the field of orgasms. I will not lie, i do masterbate. I have absolutly no problem ejaculating when i'm doing it myself but when my girlfriend is trying, i never reach the climax. My girlfriend and i (since we haven't had sex) have oral sex alot. Myself and her are very unhappy that we cannot make each other orgasm. We can ourselves but when it comes to the other partner doing it, it never happens. I'm very upset and i need some help. Thank you

Delayed Ejaculation During Intercourse

Thu, 28 Feb 2008 17:42:32 +0000

Hi,
My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year now. He has always had a difficult time having an organsm during intercourse and lately it is becoming harder and harder for him. Often he gets frustrated and gives up. I've asked him if there is anything I can do differently to help him, but he doesn't have a clue. He tells me that it's not me. I'm not able to pleasure him by hand or orally. I think he hesitates to get intimate because of this. I'm usually the one who initiates intimacy. He says that sex is not a big thing for him because I guess in his mind he thinks that this is the way it has to be.

I love him very much and I want to be able to pleasure him. It just seems like he doesn't want to initiate anything with me because he knows that it will be too much for him. He gets very out of breath trying to have an orgasm during intercourse and he has to focus so hard that any little thing will throw him off even if he slips a little he gets dicouraged like he has to start all over again. He has had to stop many times out of exhaustion and when he is able to have an ejaculation he is totally out of breath, his back hurts a lot, and he is very achy.

He's told me that he is able to ejaculate during masturbation and I know that he's into looking at women (I say this because my friend and her husband haven't had sex in 3 years and she has found evidence that he is not into women), but he has never been able to ejaculate during oral sex.

erection taking too long to go up/going down too fast

Sun, 03 Feb 2008 18:47:36 +0000

ok im 17 and recently i have got myself a girlfriend somone that i care about alot but when i masturbate and when she plays with my penis it takes awhile to go up like 5 min and if i stop playing with it when its hard it goes down quite fast.

this problem started not that long ago i used to wake up in morn with a hard i used to get it up easy and take awhile to get it down.

i can still have sex because once its up its usally quite easy to keep up

so does anyone have any clues about what the problem could be this problem started about a month ago and is bugging me alot and making me worried.

Lost of interest with me

Sat, 26 Jan 2008 18:38:00 +0000

I have been with my fiancée for a bout 7 years on and off. We have had a healthy sex life up until now. There has been some issues about other women (not cheating). I have caught him looking at porn while i'm gone a lot. He also has a lying problem. I have caught him lying to me so many times I cant count anymore. Now we have sex about twice a month. I am not happy with that. As many times as I bring it up he really doesn't try to change it. He told me that he doesn't really have the drive like he used to, but then I caught him flirting and e-mailing girls on myspace. If he doesn't have the drive then he shouldn't even be interested in other woman either right?

It really hurts my feelings it makes me feel as though its me that he doesn't want anymore. I'm at the point where if we don't get counseling soon its going to really affect our relationship for good. I have mentioned counseling and he says yes, but he doesn't do anything about it. I probably should do it, but I would like some effort on his part to show that he cares to try to save this relationship. I know that he loves me. I also know that he knows how much all of this bothers me. he also has been having some problems with ED which makes me feel even worse.

why wont she have sex with me?

Sat, 19 Jan 2008 11:07:16 +0000

I've posted on here about this before and the advice was to try and talk to her about it. I have been with my fiance for nearly five years now and sex is now a very rare luxury. We had sex as often as anyone else at the beginning but has now trailed off to a once a month thing or once every two month type thing. I tried talking to her last night and she just said she was "lazy" about it now and has never really been interested in sex! we ended up arguing about it when I told her something is wrong and I'd like to find out what it is that is wrong. Then this a.m we were OFF with each other for a bit but after a while she cuddled me but no more was mentioned about the "conversation"!?

I love her and am sure she loves me but she says sex isnt a big part of a relationship for her, which I cant understand as I love sex and believe it IS a big part of a relationship, I'm trying hard not to stray and go behind her back with someone, its something I dont agree with but find myself tempted to do it more and more often! will I end up doing it...I dont know, but like I said to her last night, for me, I cant live the rest of my life with her in this way, I know when we get married nothing will change and I need to express my love with her in a sexual way aswell as in all other ways.

Problem Getting up and Getting off during oral

Mon, 14 Jan 2008 13:18:24 +0000

I have been going out with my girlfriend for almost 2 months now and she has given me head twice. Both times, i have not had a full erection and both times i was not able to get off no matter how long she spent. I am wondering...since i have had a full erection while kissing her and playing with her before she gave me oral sex (and then it subsides) is it that we just spent too long kissing so that i shrunk down again and wasnt hard? Is it because before this relationship i would masturbate almost daily to porn? (which ive stopped)....what is it? is there something wrong with me here?

Foreskin problem (tightness)

Thu, 03 Jan 2008 14:34:38 +0000

Forgive me for being pretty clueless about sex. Its a topic which i have no problem discussing with my friends. We were talking about it one day, and we somehow got talking about how the foreskin goes back, i didn't know of this because to be honest i have never really tried. So i researched it on the net a bit, and saw that its perfectly normal for it to go back, so i tried it, but i can't seem to do it, i don't know if its a mental thing or what but i can't do it . I can only pull it back about 2-3 mm over the tip. Does anyone else have this problem ? or know how it can be solved. I'm too embarrassed to go see a doc about any problems like this.

Fear of Women, fear of sex, fear of kissing, fear of closeness...

Sun, 16 Dec 2007 10:24:30 +0000

I'm not sure what I'm doing here. I feel pathetic for even posting this... But it doesn't seem like I have any other choice. I'm at a point in my life where this fear I have is making me lose my mind. Especially now that there is a certain female who is very interested in me, and I am interested in her, but I can't bring myself to say anything to her about it, because I know where it will lead to. Kissing on the first few dates, then we'll get even closer, and sex will eventually be a possibility, and I just cant handle it. I just cringe at the thought of it.

Of course I want her to be my girlfriend, I want to take her out and show her a good time and kiss her goodnight, and after a while, maybe even have sex, but this fear in my head is unstoppable. I don't know what to do. I'm 20 years old, I've never gone all the way, I've never even had a real girlfriend. I guess strong religious beliefs played a big part in this during my teens. I had a lot of observant Jewish friends, and I went to a Jewish school, I even lived in Israel for a whole year, and I guess it all influenced me in a huge way. Now I'm not saying I regret making those decisions for myself (my family have no religious connections), because I know these beliefs have shaped me to be a good, moral person. But at the same time, I can't help but face the fact that all my non-Jewish friends are getting laid left and right as of now, and beyond that, all of them are at least capable of talking with a girl, asking her out on a date, and are able to have sex without any second thought or fear of it.

Weak sensation of orgasm after a vesectomy.

Mon, 10 Dec 2007 15:20:14 +0000

Hi,

following a vasectomy over a month a go I am having problems with my orgasm. I still easily get erections and can maintain them. I still have a the same levels of sexual desire etc and I have all the same senstion when my wife or myself touch my penis.

The problem is that when reaching the point of orgasm I still get all the build up sensation but at the peak of orgasm it just fades away to nothing and I ejaculate. I normally have very high levels of sensation at this point. It is pretty much non existant.

Everything I read suggests that this isnt a problem caused by vasectomy however I read some articles where men experience the same as me and after years of investigation they still have not found the cause.

This is really getting me down and consuming my thoughts all day.

Help would be appreciated.

How can I help my husband.(with ejaculation)

Mon, 03 Dec 2007 14:38:15 +0000

My husband and I have been together for 30 years and married for 26. Sex has never been the mainstay of our relationship, but it has never particularly bothered either of us. HOwever,recently my husband is having trouble reaching an orgasm. He is worried about it. He is on medication, which I believe could have something to do with it. He is also quite overweight. Neither of us are very imaginative in the bedroom, but I believe there are methods which I could help him with. Can anybody help me. Thank you.

Cannot ejaculate with girlfriend, but can during masturbation

Mon, 26 Nov 2007 11:27:17 +0000

Although I usually have no problem ejaculating when I masturbate on my own, I am unable to ejaculate during sex with my girlfriend or if she masturbates me or gives me a blow job. During our six-month relationship, I haven't come once. I have no problem achieving an erection at the slightest provocation and maintaining it for a long time. I'm not on any medication such as anti-depressants and I'm not under any stress as far as I'm aware.

We can joke and tease each other about it, and she says that it's not a problem for her, but several times recently she's said things like "why can't I make you come?", with the implication that she thinks that it's in some way her fault for not turning me on.

During sex, it is tempting to keep going in the forlorn hope that I will eventually ejaculate, but this is not always possible because she dries up and becomes sore once she has reached orgasm.

Could it be lack of stimulation and sensation? Because she is unable to take oral contraceptives, we have never been able to have unprotected sex without a condom. Although I'm not circumcised, my foreskin is usually retracted even when my penis is not erect - could this have led over the years to desensitisation of the head of the penis, such that it's harder to be stimulated to ejaculate?

Husband cannot can't get erection or keep erection

Wed, 31 Oct 2007 17:52:51 +0000

I have been married for 2 1/2 years. My husband is 37 years old. On our honeymoon, we were both virgins. I knew he must have been anxious and he couldn't get an erection. It was very frustrating for both of us. He took viagra and that made things a bit better, but sex was still awful. We ended up having more problems after the honeymoon and he had to take more and more viagra. Sometimes the viagra didn't even work. On rare occasion, he would get an erection on his own and we could have sex. I have a very strong libido and love sex.

I waited close to 30 years to have sex for the first time, and it kills me that now, after waiting so long, my sex life stinks. I am constantly hit on by other men. I keep myself very fit and lean and I have always had boyfriends prior to my marriage who desperately wanted sex. But I waited. My husband and I got pregnant last year (it was a miracle I think). The baby was deformed and had to be aborted in the second trimester. Now I really want to try again, as our risk of having malformations are higher as I get older. But my husband just can't seem to maintain an erection. We have stopped Viagra as we were told to stop all medications that may have caused our child to be abnormal.

Premature Ejaculation?? Not so

Mon, 29 Oct 2007 11:33:48 +0000

I have a problem and I am not sure if it is premature ejaculation!, OK, I am in my first sexual relationship now and I have being going out with my girlfriend for 6 months. I am having problems in "keeping it up" sometimes, but only sometimes, but there's one thing I want to find out. Right, when me and my girlfriend are doing stuff I get very sexually excited and the top of my penis when she starts playing with it goes wet, as in some liquid somes out and after that it is hard to get the good feeling again if you know what I mean, I have been reading stuff about premature ejaculation but none really match to what problem I am having. So can someone tell me? I get sexually excited and then a see-through liquid comes out of the top of my penis and the feeling isn't the same anymore. Can someone tell me what this is and what it is caused by please? and if someone can tell me what it is, is there anyway of stopping this so I can keep the good feeling??

Cant Make my Girlfriend have a Orgasm

Mon, 22 Oct 2007 08:10:21 +0100

I can't make my girlfriend have a orgasm. I Feel like I'm not worth nothing and makes me Mad and disappointed in myself. I try everything but nothing seems to work. The only way she has a orgasm is when she does it herself, and thats me feel like I'm not worth anything. Should this make me feel like that? What Should I do or is there any advice can you people help me cause this is making my life stressed out.

I need Help (as I can only come with porn)

Wed, 17 Oct 2007 20:22:28 +0100

I am a 24 year old male who has been in a serious realtionship for 8 months now. My partner is 34 years old and i love him dearly. He is the man that I have waited for my entire life. I know that I want to be with him for the rest of my life.

But there lies a small problem. When I masturbate, I can only masteubate to watching either online porn or porn movies. I can never just masturbate without it. I awlays need to have porn to masturbate and ejaculate with. Now, we have been together for the past 8 months and i have never once come with him

I think that my boyfriend and i know that my boyfriend is very attractive and he turns me on a great deal. Whenever I get near him i get aroused and excited. He touches me all over and give me great oral and anal but I can never ejaculate with him. Even when I am masturbating a lone without porn i cannot ejaculate. But when i watch porn, I can come within minutes!

Help! What do i do? My boyfreind excites me and i want to be able to come with him. He recently found my porn collection and began questioning why i cannot cum with him. I dont want this to put a damper on our relationship or cause it to go sour.

What do i do to fix this?