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"Girls' Nights Out" - Do I have anything to worry about or am I being too possessive?

Submitted by Anonymous on Mon, 23/05/2005 - 15:02. Relationship Problems

I've been seeing my partner for nearly 5 months now, have virtually moved into her home, and have become very close to her two kids. In August we're going on holiday together as a 'family' so things have become quite serious between us in a short space of time.

Up until recently we've rarely gone out drinking together due to financial restraints and the kids. However, last Friday I was invited to a stag do and my partner asked if she could go out with her own group of friends, and meet up together at the end of the evening.

I was comfortable with this outing but since then she's asked if I would mind if this was a regular occurrence, possibly without me meeting her at the end of the night.

I don't understand why she wants to go out separately. Surely if we're a couple, we should act like a couple. I don't feel comfortable with this as I can't find in my head any justification for it. Perhaps I'm just being too possessive/paranoid.

Is it normal for a partner to want a "girls night out" without there being any hidden reason to it?

I'd greatly appreciate your comments as I'm feeling very confused.

Thanks.

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GIRLS NIGHT OUT

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Sat, 25/06/2005 - 20:42.

First i want to start out by saying there is nothing wrong w/ a girls night out. I dont believe a person should have to lose their friends just because their in a relationship. I am 35 and my fiancee is 41. he has guys night out once a week, on wednesday nights. his friends are a little older than him and all of them are married except one other guy and my fiancee. they just go out to a pizza/bar place and hang out together, eat, drink and talk and watch sports on the tv there. (my fiancee doesnt drink). then after that they usually head over to one of the casino boats for awhile and they stay till 10 or 12 at night. which none of that is a big deal to me. he needs friends and a little time away, and so does your girlfriend. it doesnt mean she doesnt love you or want to be w/ you. theres times when you just need your friends. my best friend is a male, and weve been bestfriends a little over 5 years, my fiancee doesnt care. i usually do something w/ my bestfriend when my fiancee goes out w/ his friends. the more you try to put a hold on someone the more you will push them away from you. i never worry about my fiancee being out w/ his friends, i trust him completely and i respect him. maybe deepdown your having trust issues for some reason. maybe you need to take a closer look at that.

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I'm sure that most of us woul

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Wed, 25/05/2005 - 01:32.

I'm sure that most of us would agree, it depends on the woman or man. Some people, myself included feel as though that part of your life should be over when a relationship or marriage begins. Every now or then is perfectly normal. But, if either of you find yourself missing a part of your life or missing out on something. Then I would certainly re-evaluate your relationship. Also you didn't mention your age, teeanger to twenty-somthing I wouldn't worry too too much. 30+, worry!!

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More info...

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Wed, 25/05/2005 - 10:25.

Hi. Thanks for the reply.

I'm 26 and my partner is 31.

The thing I worry about is that I've seen what some girls get upto on "Girls Nights Out", especially when they venture down to the 'meat markets' of club/pub land. I have known girls who appear to be in very close relationships end up cheating on their partners on these sorts of night out.

I know I shouldn't tar all girls with the same brush but all I can go on is previous experience and what I've witnessed.

I'm just worried that the potential for her to meet someone else and/or cheat on me is significantly increased in that sort of environment, especially if I'm not with her.

I'm not saying she would cheat on me, but it makes me worry if she's socialising in that sort of environment and also what her motives are.

I hope it's just my insecurities shining through!!!

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Girls' Nights Out

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Tue, 31/05/2005 - 18:09.

How do you know the sort of environment you describe is the one where your g/f will spend her girls' nights out? Have you asked? Maybe they will go out for a meal or a drink, the main point being just to have a good old girlie natter. I don't believe it is healthy to spend all your time with a partner - friends of the same sex are so important and what is the harm of one night out of seven? No relationship will work if there is no trust and I would suggest you build on that before you get in too deeply.

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