I am a Catholic girl aged 20 and have been married for 18 months.Because of my religious beliefs ,sex before marriage was not an option for us.So i never knew i had this problem until we actually wed.

The problem is that we have never had sex together.I hadnt ever had a boyfriend before my now husband but my husband ,who is also 20,has much more experience of sexual things.Since he has more experience than me ,he was the one sort of teaching me how to do sex things and i had every confidence that he would be able to enter me.How wrong was i.My body just doesnt seem to be made properly.Nothing at all ,not even something as tiny as a cotton bud ,can be put into my vagina.We have been trying every so often to do something but with no luck.I dont know if i even have a vagina ,although i must have something down there if i can have my periods.I have always been a loner and very shy and quiet and i worry that some girl ,like his ex ,will be very unshy and be able to take him away from me and i wont be able to stop it happening because i am weak.His ex has tried to take him away from me while we were engaged.And my family and friends in the past always left me.I cant stand this to happen to me again.I hate knowing about all his exes and how they all got to have a piece of him and i cant have that intimacy with him.I cant bare this.The more failed attempts at sex we have ,the further away from him i feel.And more than that ,i hate myself and wish i was dead.All i want to do i cut myself but so far i have not gone back to doing that.I dont know what i am anymore.Im not sure that i am female any more because i seem to not have the parts of the body a real woman is meant to have.God must be punishing me.He doesnt answer my prayers.Maybe when he made me i was meant to be a boy but he changed his mind at the last minute and in the rush he just forgot to give me the right body parts.I dont know.All i know ,or rather my husband and i ,is that we want to make love and one day start a family.He is very understanding of this problem and doesnt force sex on me.But dont think i can keep this up.I am not a proper wife or woman.I feel like i am nothing.And being with my husband just reminds me of that which is too painful.I need my body fixed coz otherwise ,i dont know what kind of future we are going to have together