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20 years old and wondering about tubal ligation

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 31/03/2005 - 13:25. Sex Problems for Women

hello i am a 20 year old female and i am considering getting my tubes tied. i know this sounds horrible, but the only reason is because i am scared about what might happen to my sex life after having a baby. i read everywhere that you don't want to have sex after a baby and even then it doesn't feel as good. i don't know if this would happen to me... i had a burst ovarian cyst once and i was internally bleeding for almost 24 hours and had to have surgery, and even though sex caused the cyst to burst within two days of my surgery i was having oral and a week after i could have penetrative sex. i really would like to have a baby someday but i don't want to have a loose vagina and no sex drive or pleasure... is there any hope for a good sex life after a baby or should i get my tubes tied? i don't know if it makes a difference to a woman's sexual desire how sexy she feels, but im sure during and after pregnancy i would feel sexy because my partner finds pregnancy and after that extremely sexy. anyone have sex after childbirth? is it really that horrible? how the heck do people have like 7 kids then?

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Sex after having a baby

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Thu, 05/05/2005 - 18:49.

I had a son at the age of 18 going on 19. I still have a wonderful sex life even though I had a son and now I have two little girls as long as you can train yourself having a baby shouldn't change this fact. The first couple of months you might not be able to jump into the life style you like but after a couple of months you should have a great sex life again.

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Sex after Pregnancy

Submitted by mpramage on Thu, 31/03/2005 - 14:39.

Thank you for your posting, as you are probably voicing a worry that many women share. We hear so much of what can go wrong and so little of how it usually goes really well!
Many women {about 65%} notice a change in their level of sexual desire after a baby and for the majority of those it returns to normal within 6 to 12 months. In general if you have a naturally low sex drive it will remain low and if you have a naturally high sex drive it will continue to be high.
If you have a loos vagina it is likely to get a bit looser with each baby, but doing pelvic floor exercises will help keep the muscle tone good. If your vagina has good muscle tone anyway, it will continue to have good muscle tone, even though it has to do a big stretch to let the baby's head out. The vaginal walls are incredibly springy.
Babies do take their toll on a woman's body, no question, but as you suggest, people do have 7 kids!! so they must be getting something from sex. I once met someone who had 13 children, and got pregnant again because she went away for a weekend with her husband and forgot the condoms and couldn't bear not to have sex!!
Most women with a happy relationship will tell you that sex gets better as you get older whether you have babies or not. The first years of parenting when you may have small children around all day and waking you up at night are tough going and sex naturally drops off then, and recovers later.
Tubal ligation is for women who have decided thier family is complete and they can't use any other form of birth control, or who for medical reasons must not get pregnant. It would be very unlikely to find a surgeon who would do the procedure in any other circumstances.

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thanks

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Thu, 31/03/2005 - 21:07.

thanks a bunch! i feel a little better now, its just really annoying anywhere you'd read it that no one wants sex after having a baby. i always have a high sex drive and i'd be afraid i'd lose that. but i've also heard during and after pregnancy can be times where women are most sexual. and is the lack of sleep a lot of what causes lack of sex drive? because me and my partner don't have jobs, we work online and spend less than 4 hours of week working, the only other work i do is writing novels and music. and when i get little or no sleep it actually raises my sex drive...does that make sense?

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Whatever floats your boat

Submitted by mkarliner on Thu, 31/03/2005 - 22:32.

Well, people differ. Possibly the lack of sleep makes you a little 'spacey' and therefore less inhibited. But in general, whatever does it for you is fine.

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thats it

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 01/04/2005 - 11:10.

its the spaceyness... when i have a good amount of sleep i can get things done and i am more motivated to do things... so i am able to get distracted from sex... when i am tired and spacey i cant really write or work or anything, so i think about sex and i just want to cuddle and have sex all day. i don't know why that is... also, do you think it helps your after baby sex drive if you feel sexy?

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I think it would be a very sa

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Sun, 10/04/2005 - 06:34.

I think it would be a very sad thing to get your tubes tied because of fear that you wouldn't want sex anymore. I have had 4 babies and still have a higher libido than my husband. I don't feel 'stretched out' and I feel just as stimulated as when we were first married. I also have always done kegels to keep the muscles toned. I do agree though that a loss of sex drive happens when you don't feel sexy, but as long as you exercise and eat right I don't see why you couldn't have a sexy body still. Even if the sex drops off for a little while when the baby is tiny and needing a lot of attention it is worth it. I would suggest not having babies until you are older and ready to give up a lot more than just sex. They demand much, much more.

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