My current partner falls in the 2-4% of women who has not orgasmed through any method by any partners means or hers. We have been in therapy for some time now and I am always looking for additional information that may help. I know not to focus on her orgasming. I've turned my focus instead to reducing my libido to better meet her sexual needs and reduce any anxiety caused by our differences in libido. She likes sexual contact such as massages, hugging, kissing, and cuddling. At times she really likes to press genitals together. That is the extent of her interests. Obviously not the extent of mine. She has a strong aversion to oral sex and 2nd person masturbation as this makes her feel subservient. Neither intercourse or oral sex give her pleasure. There is no history of sexual abuse within her childhood.
I need to know if there are suggestions or practices I could adopt to reduce my libido. Herbs? I have tried serious fatigue and don't eat meat due to possible hormone content. I definately perform in a high stress atmosphere and have little time for exercise. The only other libido decreasers I've come across are alcoholism, Zinc deficiency, and Vitamin A deficiency. None of these are healthy. I would love to nurture her needs to my best ability but feel I am in constant conflict with my hormones. It's not so much my hormones even. I have masturbated prior to social contact with her and am still quite aroused a from just lying next to her when she's half naked.
Suggestions?