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I need advice

Submitted by Anonymous on Wed, 16/03/2005 - 08:05. Gay Issues and Problems

I am a gay guy and I am 27 years old, my boyfriend is 29, we have been in this relationship for three years.

The first 2 years we used to have great sex and a lot, nowadays we barely have sex, in the last year alone we have had sex maybe 4 times, and he is always distant during sex.

I always have to initiate but 99% of the times he rejects me, I am always horny, he never is horny or so he says.
I came to the conclusion he doesn't find me sexually appealing any more, however when we talk about this, I ask him if he loves me, and he claims he does, however when I try to kiss him, he doesn't kiss me back, we got to the point where I just don't care any more.

what confuses me is that he hugs me and calls me sweet names, and acts sweet with me, and does things for me, only some one who loves you or cares for u does, and he insits that he loves me, and he wants to be with me.

We decided to solve our sex issues, by having safe sex (no anal involved), with other people outside the relationship, we decided I was not going to bottom for no one but him and I have kept my promise, there is not way on earth he would bottom for me, and I simply thought he was just a top

two days ago I came home, and found him having sex with another guy much uglier than me, he actually did things to this guy, he wouldn't do to me during sex, he actually played bottom for this guy, while he wouldnt do it for me, he did oral, rimming etc, he wouldnt do that on me, I saw the whole thing from the living room, and they didn't see me.

When the guy left, he told me it was a friend who came over and wanted sex, but he (my boyfriend) rejected him, he doesn't know I saw him playing bottom for him and doing all sorts of thing on this guy
I am kinda dissapointed and I don't know what to do, not sure if he really loves me, or just feels sorry for me coz i am a lot poorer than him, and he just cares for me, and wants to give me a hand etc. or he loves me for who i am, and maybe i am just too damn ugly to turn some one on which i doubt coz i am above average in looks.

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Advice... from a fairy

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Wed, 23/03/2005 - 02:07.

You're kinda disappointed!! GeeWiz, Don't be a doormat! Stop this nonsense...Nobody can love you in any relationship unless you take care of your self-esteem and self-respect issues (not based on your looks or finances, by the way). A relationship between 2 people can weather all all sorts of storms... have the courage to confront him with how you feel... and then you can decide more clearly for yourself what you find acceptable and what direction you want to go in... Listen to that small, kind voice inside of you that wants the best for you...

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Intimacy Problem

Submitted by mpramage on Wed, 16/03/2005 - 13:59.

This seems like a fairly common problem where a man cannot be sexual in the intimate relationship and can do casual sex with no difficulty. I think you should Find a Therapist before things get any worse, as you now know something he doesn't know you know and that is like a barrier between you. You have been let down and betrayed and must feel very hurt, and he cannot explain or comfort you because he doesn't know!!

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