I know my boyfriend for a year now and he has not been able to ejaculate inside me (he can by masturbation). He is 34 years old and never had a girlfriend. I understood he needed to get used to have sex with someone, but after a year I start to be depressed that we will never have an enjoyable sexlife. I almost get problems getting orgams myself because I can only think about him not feeling anything. I proposed the exercises with light touch to him; he tried, but gave up. Always I start to talk about the problem; he does't really want to talk about it. We bought some advise sexbooks but only I am reading them. Wherever I am touching him, it tickles. He never says something about fantasies, only when I am asking about it he says just a little bit. I feel alone and often very sad, unattractive and rejected. I is a quite unexpressive person about everything which also makes it difficult for me. It is as if he has a major fear of expressing feelings. What kind of (sex) therapy is possible? I am afraid we will never enjoy our sexlife.

For the past year i have been having problems with sexual dysfunction. viagra helps a little. I find that I can not achieve orgasm. I have the need; i.e., sexual arousal but cannot achieve orgasm. There seems to be absolutely nothing there. I do have an enlarged prostate, and I take yohimbine plus other pills. No luck. Urologists claim that there is nothing that can be done if viagra or other penis enhancement therapy don't help. A year ago it took me two hours to ejaculate. Now, nothing. Is it low sperm? The problem is physiological, not psychological, I'm sure.

I too have this same problem with my fiance. He can come easily if he masturbates, but cannot during intercourse, or even oral. He seems to need to "take matters into his own hands" to come. This has bothered me since day one, however I love him so much, I have never said a word, for fear if he senses my disapproval it may make matters worse. I am dead certain he is aware of this problem, because he goes well and beyond to make sure I am satisfied. I dont understand all this , but only twice during our 3 1/2 year live-in relationship he has come inside me .He has NO problem getting erect, in fact you would think he is the horniest man alive for 49 years old. This is so frustrating for me, I enjoy sex very much .I just dont know what to do, and should I speak up ? Is there actually a treatment for this problem, beacause Im sure he would never ever seek therapy.

Hi, I there might be several factors contributing to your situation. You didn't mention if when he "takes matters into his own hands" you provide additional stimulation . For instance to his legs, testicles, perenium etc. You should discuss this with him but at a time other than during sex. Ok that being said. At 49 it is quite posible he achieves orgasm easier and with more intensity while maturbating and with your assistance. Aside from being erotic it is considerable less strenuous. Quite frankly shortness of breath or muscle fatigue may be inhibiting ejaculation during intercourse. Try increasing foreplay to get him closer to climax before intercourse. Try running your nails on his knees or reaching under to touch perenium. Possibly even add verbal stimulation and encouragement. If a guy sense he is on the clock ,lets say that might delay orgasm. Good luck!

Thank you, mpramage. Certainly my girlfriend does not pressure me into having to ejaculate (I know this would be a problem with other women) and I thank her for that. I will continue to enjoy sex and love with her and try to relax and pressure myself.