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masturbation or sex

Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 24/02/2004 - 17:04. General

My boyfriend of 2 years seems to want to masturbate more than he wants sex. I ask him about why he does it so often and does't want to have sex, he usually denies masturbating. Finally he admits to masturbating but says it's to embarrassing to talk about. He was in his previous relationship for 18 years and rarely got sex from his girlfriend, no affection either. I on the other hand love affection and attention from him, but he's so used to rejection from her I think this is why he masturbates rather than sex. I can't stand it anymore!! Any suggestions????

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mr first time

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Sat, 29/05/2004 - 21:30.

i am a 16 yr old girl and my boyfriend is 17.me and my boyfriend of 6 and a half months decided to take our relationship to the next level. however, he isn't a virgin whereas i am. as we prepared to have sex, we couldnt seem to 'get it in' his penis just wouldn't go into my vagina. being my first time i felt that this was normal and things would change at a later stage. however, we tried a second, third and fourth time without any luck. is it me? whats wrong with my body? is there something we should try? CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE REPLY TO THIS AND GIVE ME SOME ADVICE PLEASE?

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reply

Submitted by numberc87 on Thu, 27/07/2006 - 23:52.

try letting him finger you first your vagina is to tight its perfectly normal.then after he does that a couple of times you should be a little looser and it should work out

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masturbation or sex

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 27/02/2004 - 13:17.

I have a similar problem. I often prefer to masturbate than have sex. I'm embarrassed by the fact that it's easier for me to be stimulated visually by the internet than by being with someone I love. This can have a devastating affect on a relationship and I don't want it to. I want to have sex and be normal. I went many years without having sex with anyone but myself. I think I've been conditioned like Pavlov's dog (that I am). See, it makes me feel bad but I'm working on reconditioning myself. It isn't easy...and it's so easy to go on-line and satisfy nature's urges without complication. But there always are complications. I have heard of a surprising number of situations like this. The internet may be nature's way of stemming population growth. I would talk to him and see what he thinks. I would also understand that this may be an innocuous way of living out some fantasies. The internet may also save relationships by providing a safe outlet to the urge for variety. Good luck.

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Try some fntasy (was 'omg me 2!')

Submitted by numberc87 on Thu, 27/07/2006 - 23:59.

im a 19 yr old male and masterbated for six years. my first experience didnt work out, i couldnt keep an erection, i thought there was something wrong with me. but i think it was b/c im so used to pleasuring myself and i jus gotta learn how to have pleasure from intercourse. but one thing that helped our sex life is role playing. that should warm you up to sex. be open minded and act out some fantasies.

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Masturbation or Sex

Submitted by mpramage on Tue, 24/02/2004 - 21:10.

There is only so much sexual energy in a person and if it is being mostly expressed in masturbation, then there will be less for lovemaking with a partner.
You have thought about what is going on and what it might mean, and recognise that it may be to do with previous experience in a relationship.
You are also saying you can't stand it any more. If you really can't stand it, then you probably need to end the relationship. If there are other things making this relationship special, then you may be willing to talk to your boyfriend and if possible one or both of you could go and see a therapist who understands this sort of issue.
What do other people think she should do?

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