Jo is a twentytsomething gay man living alone in a large bedsit in Edinburgh. He is unemployed but manages his finances carefully and is fully involved with his Housing Association as a Tenants' Representative. He has no partner, but has made many attempts to find one in clubs, through local poltical groups, and in pubs,with no success. He typically meets men he fancies, immediately falls into bed with them, trying desperately to please them in any way he can. He fails, begins an argument, and drives the other person away, sometimes within hours of meeting them. He hates himself when this happens. He believes he tries so hard because he never pleased his parents, especially his father who has never supported him and who does not accept that he is gay.

Jo has had psychotherapy and understands this, but this does not help him when he is in a situation of meeting soembody for the first time. He asks his therapist for some practical help to prevent him always falling into the same trap, and is sent to a Social Skills Groups that provides Assertiveness training for men. He joins a group that has an eight week programme, and learns a whole range of techniques aimed at helping him to relax, building on his strengths, and boosting his self-esteem. He then learns specifically how to talk to men when he first meets them, in ways that do not 'put himself down' but gives them a chance to establish what Jo also would like to try or to do. He leaves the group more confident after he has tried these techniques at a gay bar. He still has no partner, but he has had more fun, and he has had fewer arguments, and reports feeling less depressed.