Mandy, age 38, was fed up with Tony as he complained all the time about her loss of sexual desire. They had been together sixteen years, and he kept waiting for her to be sexy again like she was before they had any children. They had Patrick, age 15, and Gemma, age 12. She could be sexy for a few days, but then something would upset her and she would turn off. It would be several weeks before she would be feeling sexy again.

Assessment
The therapist helped the couple to see the pattern of behaviour that turned Mandy off. Tony did not realise that he was aggressive when drunk. He thought it was just a bit of fun. He also did not realise, because Mandy had not told him, that Patrick was getting rude and upsetting Mandy, his teacher, and Gemma. The couple began to feel closer to each other as they discussed these things.

Increase Sexual Awareness
For Mandy the whole topic of sex was difficult as she had bad experiences with har family's attitudes in the past. These experiences were preventing her from feeling good about herself, and from feeling OK about sex. The therapist helped her to get over her past, and allow herself to feel sexy if she wanted. Also, it became clear that Tony wanted more sex than she did, because it was the only time he felt close to her.

Practising feeling sexy
At this stage, Mandy and Tony used Sex Therapy to help them get closer again, and rebuild some of the excitement they had before they became parents. Patrick was born very early in their relationship. They got to know each other in a different and special way.

Keeping up the good work
Therapy had tought them some very important things that they were going to keep up. Mandy will tell Tony when she is upset, by him or Patrick or anything. He will not be aggressive when drunk. Mandy has overcome her past traumas, so they have gone. Mandy and Tony know how to deal with each other, and are not going to forget that.