Treatment for Inability to have Intercourse has four phases. They do not have to take place one after another. More than one part of treatment can be going on at one time.

First Part
This is a lot of talking, learning and thinking. It is really helpful to understand what it is that prevents intercourse from happening.

• It could be physical, so would need medical help, rather than therapy.
• Emotional reasons are to do with the family stories and traditions, or to religious influences, or because closeness and intimacy are not easy.
• Some cultural traditions do not allow talk about sex, so a woman might not know anything about it.
• Past sexual abuse is another common cause.

Second Part
This is to deal with feelings about the emotional, cultural and sexual abuse causes. It will be difficult feelings like disgust,fear, or shame which are stopping intercourse from happening. Most people need help from an expert therapist to get them over this part. It can take quite a while, sometimes months to work.

Third Part
At some point it will be necessary to do some practical homework, and so Sex Therapy will be the third part of treatment. The sex therapy programme will have to go at the pace that is right for the woman. Each stage takes care and thought, with time to talk over what she is doing. She needs to feel safe, and to be able to feel her bad feelings in a safe place. She may like being held by her partner. Over time, the bad feelings stop, and she can move forward.

Fourth part
This involves encouragement to continue, keep the changes going for a while until they become reliable, and deal with any left over bits to do with family, relationship, culture and anyting else.