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Fear of Sex in Men

Submitted by mkarliner on Sun, 23/01/2005 - 18:23. Sex Problems for Men

This is quite a common problem. The feelings of fear can range from a sense of disgust or discomffort at certain activities, to intense fear and panic at the notion of anything sexual. It is sometimes called sexual avoidance. When the feelings of panic are severe, anti panic medication may be necessary in the early stages of treatment. This can only be prescribed by a doctor.
The causes of fear of sex may be deep seated, for example

  • related to past Sexual Abuse,
  • family and religious influences,
  • some past event or trauma,

Other causes are related to sex itself, for example

  • fear of failure,
  • fear of closeness and being overwhelmed,
  • self criticism as a poor performer.

Overcoming the feelings of fear and aversion is usually a matter of desensitisation. This means facing each fear in a gradual way, and overcoming it bit by bit. Sex Therapy often forms part of the treatment, and a therapist would be able to guide you through it.
However intense your fear it can be helped.

Sex Problems for MenTreatment for Fear of Sex in MenCase Story for Fear of Sex in Men

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Fear of Sex in Men

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 11/03/2005 - 20:35.

Past sexual abuse is not the only thing that will cause a man to fear sex. A whole host of family of origin issues will cause this. The root of many men's fear of sex is actually a fear of intimacy. Many of these men can function sexually with no problems while masturbating alone.

But if they have grown up in an enviroment that caused them stress such as a parent who was an alchoholic or drug abuser, was violent or showed little love to the child, this will cause a great fear of intimacy later in life. If the child was naturally shy or had a fear of new people and new situations ie: first day of school, moving house, divorce etc., this can cause a child to naturally withdraw from whatever is causing him stress. In this case close family members.

Combine this with a child who is a loner, plays by him or herself much of the time, doesn't like school and has few close friends and you have a person who will find forming close relationships later in life difficult. And the ultimate show of closenss, sex, will conjure up horrible memories of childhood fears of opening up to another person and memories of the only "intimate" relationships he ever saw as a child- his dysfunctional parents/family. This can also cause a fear of rejection or simply a distrust of all people in general.

When such a person tries to become intimate sexually, they tend to have a host of sexual problems such as difficulty getting and remaining erect, ejaculation/orgasm problems, and a general sense of unease and stress during the sex act. After a few failed attempts at relationships and sex, usually in the teens or 20's the shame, stress,
and yes....fear, of getting close is further amplified causing him to finally give up trying.

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