1. Agree a ban on intercourse and no touching of the breasts, nipples, and sexual parts.
2. Set up twice weekly times to spend on this homework, increasing from 20 to 60 minutes over 4 weeks. This may have to be like booking appointments in your diary.
3. Only speak during these times if the touch of your partner is painful, or in some way not good for you. Otherwise it is taken for granted that what is being done is OK. Talking will stop you concentrating on the task, and it won’t be so effective. At the same time, you will need to give information about each partner's likes and dislikes. You could to do that before you start, or after each session have a review.
4. It is really important to pay attention to what is happening to you, rather than trying to please your partner.
5. Set the scene by deciding where you are going to do this and make sure you will be warm enough. If you live in a climate where the winters are cold, this can be quite a challenge. You may like to have gentle music in the background, and burn scented candles, oil or incense. This is a learning exercise above all so make it as special and enjoyable as you can.

There are three stages to Sensate Focus.