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Never been able to orgasm

Submitted by Anonymous on Mon, 19/01/2004 - 23:59. Sex Problems for Women

I have been married to my husband for 3 1/2 years and before him I was with a just two other men and I have never had an orgasm. Overall sex has been anything but pleasurable and has almost been a waste of time. Because of this my husband and I have only had intercourse maybe 30 times since we have been together. He is very understanding and very patient but he refuses to seek counseling with me (he thinks it's his fault). We have tried different things and nothing seems to work. I have tried masturbating but it doesn't feel good and I find the idea somewhat gross. My husband has bought me vibraters and toys in hopes that something might stimulate me but I don't find any of it exciting or alluring. I can't help but feel that all alone with this. What's wrong with me?

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Never been able to Orgasm

Submitted by mpramage on Tue, 20/01/2004 - 08:40.

It is a fact that some women are not able to orgasm, although medical science cannot yet tell us why. You are not alone, as many as one in ten women are the same as you. Your husband is not to blame, and it seems that both of you have tried your very best up to this point. However you also have not experienced any sexual pleasure either, and that might be the underlying cause of the lack of orgasm, so do not give up on this.
Sexual pleasure is a feeling, and as with so many feelings, we can find ways of avoiding or blocking the feeling, unconsciously of course.
Another possibility is that your sexuality has simply not awakened yet. Again, sex therapy with your husband, under the guidance of an experienced therapist, might help you here.
I suggest you seek professional advice from a therapist to help you decide on the best way to deal with your difficulty.
You can find more information and a case history at Orgasm Difficulties or Anorgasmia.

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