Well. If he is as religiously motivated as you say, it may be an invisible obstacle for him during sex. but that's another story.
You don't have to be aggressive to have good sex. Be attentive. Start by massaging his entire body, and then slow small love licks in different places. Then more touching, touch the nipples, anus, perineum, chest, testicles, etc. If it does not repulse (which it shouldn't) take the testicles in your mouth slowly, and massage the shaft w/ your hand. If he likes it, continue to oral sex, lots of saliva. Donâ¬"t let him cum, commence to riding him letting him guide your motions w/ his hands on your hips. If he does not grab them, place his hands there, and throw your chest in his face. He'll cum.Whiper in his ear, "Do you like that? do you feel it too? Make growning noises in his ear, bite it, nibble it.
He needs to be just as attentive w/ you. Full body massages, feathers on the skin, blindfolds, etc. Women need emotional stimulation then physical. Start

Well you two really seem to have found each other! Each of you has an orgasm problem, but differently. For a woman inability to orgasm during sex is pretty normal. You may have to stimulate yourself at the same time as having intercourse, you may find that at one particular angle it can happen, or it may be that it is just the way you are each made. If the man's pelvic bone doesn't hit the woman's genitals at the required angle, then it won't happen and it is nobody's fault, it is normal. Experiment with angles and stimulating yourself and see what you can do.
You mention that your partner had a strict upbringing, and uses vigorous stimulation to ejaculate with masturbation. Both of these factors may be relevant. He might practice masturbating to lighter and lighter touch, and see if he can condition his orgasm to respond in that way. For the deeper possibilities you could try seeing a therapist, and read a bit more about it by clicking here. "Retarded Ejaculation".