My fiance and I have been together for three years, engaged for over one. For the past 11 months we've been in a long-distance relationship when I had to take a job 1500 miles away - so we only see one another every month or two.

For about a year before I moved my sexual desire came to a dead stop. I'm still very much attracted to my fiance, but beyond kissing and cuddling I'm not interested. Now, until shortly after we got involved my fiance was one of those rare guys who never masturbated. At first his newfound 'hobby' didn't bother me too much.

Now that we live so far apart when we do see each other there are those 'expectations' that we'll have sex. Yet I am never in the mood, and I hate the fact that I'm only doing it because he wants to. I want to make him happy, but I want to be enjoying myself too! It's so frustrating. And now, this last time that I saw him, I realized that his masturbation has become an obsession to the point that when he and I went to have sex it just plain didn't work.

So now I feel like by giving the cold shoulder on sex I've driven him into chronic masturbation and erased any semblance of a sex drive he might have for me. The last thing I want is to spend our wedding night consecrating a marriage when I don't want the sex and he would rather finish with his hand.

We both still love each other very much and are attracted to one another. It just seems like we get started and then it fizzles.

I have no idea what to do. It isn't like we can see a counselor, since we're so far apart. This issue needs to be resolved, though, before our wedding.