I know no one likes to hear that someone is being abused in a relationship and i know that everyone always thinks thats its the female that suffers the abuse, but i hate to admit it, but i hit and shout at my boyfriend.

He is finally leaving me after 3 years together and i'm absolutely devastated. We've had such a hard time together, meeting at work, both separating from our previous relationships, him having 2 children. My ex husband has met my partner and i get on better which him that i did when i was married to him. My partners estranged wife however, still makes things as difficult as possible 3 years later.

I never thought it would be this hard. I thought that our love for each other would be enough to carry us through. But his guilt for leaving his children is so great, it clouds over everything.

I get so angry that i don't get much thought from him that i used to and i shout and i hate to say it, but when i have a drink, there have been occasions that i've lashed out and hit him and scratched his face. He has made excuses for me and i still did it again.

I hate the person i am and i love him to bits. i wish i had learned how to control my temper and anger and i wish i had done this so long ago. He is now in the process of leaving me. He says he still loves me but that something just clicked and he says he's not happy.

I've begged him to stay, but he says it won't change, i'm not looking at what staying together would mean.

I can't bear the thought that we had so much in common, that we've been through 3 years of hell from his estranged wife, for nothing. That i ruined it.

I know i won't get sympathy from anyone, but i just needed to say this and hope that someone in a similar situation as mine, stops and thinks about what they are doing and who they are doing it to. Your ruining your life ! Nothing can replace love.