My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year. I have had several long term, committed relationships, and I know what an amazing relationship we have. It's been absolutely perfect. Over the holidays, he became very depressed, and this was the first time I'd seen him like this. He became so physically ill we spend Christmas Eve in the ER. Since then, he has admitted that he needs help, and has seen his regular doctor who put him on anti-depressants, and also a psychotherapist. However, before he started getting help, he tried to end our relationship. I was shocked and distraught. However, after talking with him, he didn't really know what he wanted. Since then, I have given him some space, we don't hang out as much, but I try to be there to support him. Sometimes we hang out and it's wonderful, and sometimes we don't hang out at all, and sometimes when we are together I feel like he's totally not into me anymore. I have never suffered from depression and so don't understand what he's going through, even though I try. This is all very new to him, too, and I am trying really hard to be supportive and give him whatever he needs. He lost his dad two years ago, before we were together, for a motorcycle accident. I know from his family members that he has never really dealt with that loss, and I know that is a huge part of his depression, although he never talks about it to me. He has tried opening up a little bit more the past couple of weeks, but he still hates to "talk" about anything serious or emotional and that's hard for me because I just want to know what he's thinking and where he's coming from. I've told him that I don't think it's fair to US for him to make a decision about our relationship until he's healthy, and he's agreed. But how do we know when that time comes, and how long will it take? It's been about a month since he's started getting help.

How long should I do this? Sometimes I wonder if he really DOES want to break up with me, but doesn't have the guts to do it. But then I think that's just me being selfish and that these issues AREN'T about us, and I still need to give him time and space to figure things out. Am I just dragging out my heartache, or is there hope for us? Are his actions normal for someone who's dealing with their depression for the first time? I have a hard time knowing what to expect from him and how long I should just put myself on the back burner....

Please help me! I really love this man and in my heart of hearts I believe this relationship is meant to be...I just don't know if I'm doing the right thing, or what else I should do.