Cannot ejaculate with girlfriend, but can during masturbation

Sex Problems for Men

Although I usually have no problem ejaculating when I masturbate on my own, I am unable to ejaculate during sex with my girlfriend or if she masturbates me or gives me a blow job. During our six-month relationship, I haven't come once. I have no problem achieving an erection at the slightest provocation and maintaining it for a long time. I'm not on any medication such as anti-depressants and I'm not under any stress as far as I'm aware.

We can joke and tease each other about it, and she says that it's not a problem for her, but several times recently she's said things like "why can't I make you come?", with the implication that she thinks that it's in some way her fault for not turning me on.

During sex, it is tempting to keep going in the forlorn hope that I will eventually ejaculate, but this is not always possible because she dries up and becomes sore once she has reached orgasm.

Could it be lack of stimulation and sensation? Because she is unable to take oral contraceptives, we have never been able to have unprotected sex without a condom. Although I'm not circumcised, my foreskin is usually retracted even when my penis is not erect - could this have led over the years to desensitisation of the head of the penis, such that it's harder to be stimulated to ejaculate?

I'm in my forties but this is my first relationship apart from a couple of one-night stands in my teens and twenties when ejaculation was not a problem - neither premature nor retarded.

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an answer?

This is the case in my relationship also. We need help but hubby won't go

Male situational anorgasmia

This a more common situation than many people realise, and medical science has not really been able to offer any reliable and useful solution. To start with the mechanism whereby arousal becomes orgasm is not yet fully understood, so we have to think about it in terms of both stimulation and intimacy.

There are a number of possibilities here, most of which you have outlined. Furstly of course you know it is not her fault and have to convince her of that.

Some times the lack of stimulation is an issue as the vagina is not as stimulating as the hand, and cannot provide the same pressure.

In your forties this is your first relationship, so might you be finding the presence of another person a little inhibiting?

There is nothing physically wrong with you and you can read more on this site at Ejaculation Problems by following the relevant links.
Also on the left of this page under 'useful links' is a site calle sex and relationship which has good writing on this.