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I do not love my partner anymore

Submitted by cberg on Wed, 07/11/2007 - 01:58. Relationship Problems

I am 21 years old and live with my boyfriend for about two years now. I am still in college and so is he. This guy is great, fantastic, funny, caring, and all the above for a great life partner. I want to get married to him after I finish college and so does he. We both want to start a family together when the time is right. But the problem is I want to be independent. I want to live my college years freely. I am afraid that if I break-up with my boyfriend I will be selfish and not appreciate what I have and in the end regret not staying with him. Part of me says I am too young to be in a long-time relationship and part of me says that this is a great guy with amazing qualities. What should I do? I do not want to make choose the wrong choice, but again I want to be 21 years old and live like one. Please help!

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What the heck DO you want -- really?

Submitted by Mature Man on Sat, 10/11/2007 - 12:55.

You say all kinds of nice things about the guy who is your "partner" but then say "Part of me says I am too young to be in a long-time relationship and part of me says that this is a great guy with amazing qualities."

You also say "I want to live my college years freely."

What do you mean by that? Date other guys or what?

How does your guy feel? Have you at least talked with him about it?

This message suggests that you may simply not yet be mature enough to even think about marrying anyone. No insult intended; just honesty.

FWIW, my wife and I met in college, too, about your age. We eventually married at 21 and have been happily married for 40+ years.

When I was your age, I, too, had doubts and worries about whether or not SHE was "the right one". EVERYONE DOES! However, I'm so grateful and happy that we married and that she chose to be with me all these years.

We've had three wonderful kids, now all grown with kids of their own, and now we enjoy retirement together.

Is it "perfect"? No! Of course not! And it never was! However, I can tell you that having that one special person all that time, through all of life's problems, job losses, health issues and countless other problems, has been a blessing -- truly.

I hasten to also say that there have been countles WONDERFUL experiences, too, that we have shared, and thus making our lives so much better than experiencing them alone.

I wish you luck, whatever you decide.

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