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Husband cannot can't get erection or keep erection

Submitted by monique30 on Wed, 31/10/2007 - 17:01. Sex Problems for Men

I have been married for 2 1/2 years. My husband is 37 years old. On our honeymoon, we were both virgins. I knew he must have been anxious and he couldn't get an erection. It was very frustrating for both of us. He took viagra and that made things a bit better, but sex was still awful. We ended up having more problems after the honeymoon and he had to take more and more viagra. Sometimes the viagra didn't even work. On rare occasion, he would get an erection on his own and we could have sex. I have a very strong libido and love sex.

I waited close to 30 years to have sex for the first time, and it kills me that now, after waiting so long, my sex life stinks. I am constantly hit on by other men. I keep myself very fit and lean and I have always had boyfriends prior to my marriage who desperately wanted sex. But I waited. My husband and I got pregnant last year (it was a miracle I think). The baby was deformed and had to be aborted in the second trimester. Now I really want to try again, as our risk of having malformations are higher as I get older. But my husband just can't seem to maintain an erection. We have stopped Viagra as we were told to stop all medications that may have caused our child to be abnormal.

I am utterly depressed. My husband's penis is just soft all the time. I can stimulate him orally and it still can barely perk up! I have done everything. He is talking now about the vacuum device and I am utterly mortified that we may have to go down that road. He has had all the blood tests done and they found nothing wrong with him. Please help.

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Similar problem

Submitted by Mature Man on Fri, 09/11/2007 - 10:36.

Have you had any better success yet? I have been having troubles myself sometimes and just wondered.

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Has he seen a doctor?

Submitted by Mature Man on Thu, 01/11/2007 - 10:34.

How sad for both of you all around!

Has your husband seen a good M.D. with whom he can talk about this to check on any physical problems?

Apart from physical, of course, MOST erection problems (especially at that age) are caused by psychological issues.

As a man, and one who is usually still very horny and eager (and able!), I can tell you that I, too, have sometimes, if rarely, had problems maintaining an erection or cumming. Thankfully, my partner was always tolerant and helped me, without making me feel lousy, even though I, myself, felt pretty lousy about it! (Luckily, she cums very fast and powerfully from intercourse, so even if I "fail" myself, she's satisfied and can therefore be kind to me and try to help me afterward.)

At my age, I still want sex almost daily and end up having to satisfy myself more often than not because her level of interest has dropped somewhat. If I have "troubles" now, I attribute most of those times now to just aging or being tired. However, in my earlier days, it was usually due to work pressures, home problems, or some combination.

I know it may be difficult to try to reassure him when you're frustrated, but I really think that's the only way to "help" him. Sounds like you're willing to try to orally stimulate him, wear sexy clothes, and maybe in other ways, and that's great, but I urge you to try again not to "push" but to just be loving and caring and see if things "perk up".

Good luck! Sex is too delicious to go without!

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