Home » forums » Relationship Problems

My girlfriend.(wants to break it off)

Submitted by reallyneedhelp on Mon, 29/10/2007 - 02:48. Relationship Problems

Please help me. My girlfriend has just broken up with me after 3 months, because she says there's something wrong with her and it's better if she's alone.
She says that because I've just moved to a university 100 miles away, and I can see her at most once a week, she won't be able to feel close to me. She says she finds it hard to feel emotion, that she feels alone all the time and it's hard for her to be with someone while she feels like that.
Last year her uncle committed suicide, and shortly after her ex-boyfriend cheated on her after they'd been together for 2 years, because she wasn't paying him as much attention while she was sad about her uncle.
All the time we've been together she's found it difficult to be intimate with me. We've never had sex. We've only kissed with tongues twice. We kissed a couple of times every time we saw each other, but I could see how difficult it was for her. She really tried for me, though.

She says she wishes things were different, that I lived near her, that she didn't feel like this, because she really wants to be with me, that I'm the loveliest guy she's ever been with, but that it's not fair for me to have to put up with the way she is, and that it's fairer for both of us if she's alone.
It's breaking my heart because I love her, and I've told her that I don't care if she finds it difficult to be intimate with me, because she's a lovely, lovely person, and she's gorgeous, and she's still better than any other girl whether we kiss all the time or not. I told her that I can wait for her, not matter how long it takes, that I'm getting a phone deal that means I get free calls at certain times so I can ring her every night and talk to her as long as she wants, I've already got a railcard so I can come home every weekend. But she won't let me, because she wants me to find someone who can treat me "the way I deserve".
But I get on with her better than I've ever got on with anyone, and I can't even imagine wanting to find someone else, she's just too kind and deserves to be with someone too much. It would rip me to shreds to leave her alone because of this. For the sake of my sanity I need to find out how to help her because I can't bear to lose someone I love as much as her for something like this.
I'm sorry if I sound totally insane. I was trying to sleep, but I knew I couldn't sleep a wink unless I'd tried asking someone somewhere on the Internet first. Thankyou.

» login to post comments | previous forum topic | next forum topic

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.

I know it's difficult

Submitted by countrygirl on Mon, 29/10/2007 - 18:31.

It sounds like she is suffering with serious depression, I know because I have a similar problem. The worst thing she can do is be alone, and unfortunately, she needs constant attention to feel better which could cause problems for her being that you are so far away most of the time. In a state of depression like this, she needs to have someone near her, not all huggy and kissy, but just to be in the same room with someone helps alot. Isolating herself will only make it worse. She needs to see a psychiatrist just to talk about what she has been feeling just to get it out if nothing else. I also recommend her trying to get a prescription for an anti-anxiety/anti-depressant called wellbutrin. It just helps equal you out. I tried a few different ones myself and have had the best results with the wellbutrin. It just helps get you back to the "normal" you. It doesn't make you feel all drugged up like alot of them do. That's the best advice I can give you. I admire how much you care for her, but the best thing you can do for her is be just a friend for now, let her get better, and then take it from there when she can truely give you a chance. The less pressure she feels, the better. She is struggling with enough right now, be a shoulder to cry on and an ear for her to talk to, and just let her know you would rather be her friend than nothing at all. That is what she really needs. Good luck, and I hope she gets some help. It really changed my life.

» login to post comments

Listen to her!

Submitted by mpramage on Mon, 29/10/2007 - 11:23.

Well I hope it helped, getting it off your chest!
I think she is telling you in a number of ways that she is not ready for the relationship you want, and is letting you down gently.
Waiting for her is not a sensible thing to do at this point. I realise it is terribly sad for you, but you have to respect her wishes.

» login to post comments

I know, you're right.

Submitted by reallyneedhelp on Mon, 29/10/2007 - 18:58.

I just wish I could help her, that's all. She told me she just doesn't know how she's gonna get past this feeling that she's got.

» login to post comments