Sex Therapy is still in the dark ages when it comes to treating retarded ejaculation. Some mild cases can be treated using Masters and Johnson's Sensate Focus therapy but in cases where the man is no longer attracted to his partner or (as in a high percentage of RE) he can only achieve orgasm with masturbation alone, the cure rate is low and you will find many sex therapists throwing in the towel after a few months.

There is hope however in the groundbreaking studies of RE done by both Dr Bernard Apfelbaum of Berkley California and josie Lipsith, Damian McCann and David Goldmeier working in Britain.

Apfelbaum believes that RE is caused by low levels of sexual desire
(see Principals and Practice of Sex Therapy) and Lipsith et al put forward the notion that some retarded ejaculators have grown so accustomed to the feel of their own hand during masturbation and are so used to the fantasiesand/or pornography that is used during masturbation, that partner sex is just not stimulating enough for the man to achieve orgasm. Performance anxiety can be both cause and result of what both Apfelbaum and the British researchers say is an actual preference for self masturbation over partner sex.

May I point you to a detailed online discussion of Situational Retarded Ejaculation here:

http://www.psychforums.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=1796

I quote a part of a post to that discussion:

>>>>>>Masturbation should be looked at by Doctors and Sex Therapists more closely in men presenting with Retarded Ejaculation. In days past, men simply fantasized while masturbating or purused the pages of erotic books or magazines. In most cases partner sex (the real thing) turned out to be a much more intense and arousing experience than simple masturbation.

But today, with internet and other forms of pornography so easily available in such massive quantities and catering to every imaginable sexual fantasy, the masturbatory experience has become much more real and very intense. The man can have a different graphic or video fantasy every single time he masturbates. The cybersexual experience- high levels of arousal and hard core sex acts viewed easily in the comfort of one's home, become the prefered method of sexual release and train the mind to expect those kinds of stimuli. It is such a different experience from partner sex that it causes a man's sexual system to be out of synch with the feelings and pleaures of real life sexual experience. This in turn manifests itself physically in the inibility to ejaculate.<<<<<<<

The British Research team has published a paper which can be purchased at:
http://taylorandfrancis.metapress.com/app/home/contribution.asp?wasp=d86tgdwtwq0xvh9ugxuq&referrer=parent&backto=searcharticlesresults,1,78;homemain,1,1;

Since I don't think this site highlights links you can go to:

http://taylorandfrancis.metapress.com and do a seArch for the article entitled "Male psychogenic sexual dysfunction: the role of masturbation"

When other causes of RE have been ruled out ie: diabetes, SSRI antidepressants and nuerological disease, a conscious or perhaps subconscious preference for masturbation perhaps combined with pornography, can cause the penis to feel numb during intercouse and lead to dimished desire and the resulting retarded orgasm/ejaculation.

So do you think, its all in my mind? Because when i'm by masturbating by myself I use my imagination, but with my partner i don't. Could this be a reason and is there any way of fixing it, by myself? Such as stop masturbating?