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Married for 5 years, Sexless for 2.

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Submitted by cuteasabutton on Thu, 13/09/2007 - 22:32. Relationship Problems

I am 25 years old and my husband is 30. We have been married for 5 years and are the best of friends. Our sex life used to be off the charts. But over the past 2 1/2 years that has change drastically. Not only does he not touch me, but we have not had sex in the last 2 years. We have no children. I have recently found men's magazines, pornographic dvd's, and internet activity that makes me very sad. When I ask him why he says he bought those things because he was mad at me. When I ask him about sex he says that I do not seem to welcome him when he approaches me. But truth be told, I am the one being turned down. He never approaches me. I am at my wit's end. I was a virgin until marriage and have a huge sexual drive right now. I have not gained weight, cut my hair, or changed my appearance at all. Any advice you can give would help greatly. My heart is breaking. I don't understand why he would rather look at a magazine than be with me. I can't handle this rejection anymore. And I have been too embarrassed to talk to anyone about this. PLEASE HELP ME!!!

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What has changed???

Submitted by Mature Man on Sat, 15/09/2007 - 08:52.

What on earth has changed so dramatically? Have you any idea?

You say you and your husband are still "best of friends", but it sounds pretty acrimonious.

Is he having an affair? Not a nice thing to consider, I know, but... is he?

How are other things in your lives? Is his work getting to him? Family problems? Is he perhaps depressed? Many things not related to sex can affect you both.

Have you tried to just talk about other things, enjoy doing other things together, and generally try to just get closer and see if this will lead to something?

Share more, if you like. I wish you luck. Life is too short not to be able to share love and joy and sex.

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It's good to talk

Submitted by Phoebe May on Sun, 16/09/2007 - 12:30.

I've talked to my partner and showed him some of the other comments on this site from those in relationships without sex.

It's really helped us talk more openly and honestly than ever before.

He's admitted he's got into a habit of not having sex; we don't get much space or time for privacy which has had an impact, plus a lot of other stuff came out too.

We can both see more clearly where we are and where we want to be in our relationship and it feels so much better to have got everything out in the open.

The future looks a lot more promising than before. Finding this site has been the catalyst to change in our relationship. It's so easy to think you're the only person experiencing something, but it's just not the case.

Thanks so much and good luck to everyone in similar circumstances.

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