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High libido... is this normal???

Submitted by violet on Sun, 02/09/2007 - 10:47. Sex Problems for Women

I have always had a high libido.Was high in my 20's,stronger in my 30's,Now that I am in my early 40's is it even stronger. I love the man I am with but he can not keep up. I refuse to look outside of our relationship, but this is driving me crazy. He is mid 30's and though he is good to go once a day, he rarely wants it more often. I feel like I am doing something wrong masturbating to subdue the excess. I know I am not,but if tables were turned, I would be offended that he had to seek self satisfaction. When I was married, the ONLY time I refused my spouse was due to menstruation, illness, or him being away. I wanted to keep him satisfied."If he gets enough at home, he wont be looking elsewhere." And it was true.. til he died. I do recognise that regardless of whether or not a woman is aroused, we can still be there when they need it. There ARE other ways that he can help me. He isnt interested. Like he needs to be in the mood for that too. I have begun to feel that my high libido is an invisible abnormality. I feel embarrassed and ashamed that I am like this. Like there is something wrong with me. He feels bad about this. I end up in pain from lack of. I CAN work at something and not think about it, but heaven forbid I have longer than a bathroom break.

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High Libido

Submitted by Mature Man on Mon, 03/09/2007 - 10:17.

I just tried to post but am not sure my reply made it, so I'll try to reply again! I apologize if this is a duplicate.

Those with high libido's have needs that simply don't go away easily. I know because I've always had a high libido, too. Even now, as an older man, I want sex several times a week (and am easily aroused and able to "perform"), but my wife simply cannot and will not share that more often than perhaps once a week at best. She enjoys sex, but only in a very basic, missionary way, too.

I have had to masturbate for many years to satisfy my needs. (I confess that I've also occasionally cybered on line with a woman who I found was similarly frustrated, also mature, and otherwise a very nice person with whom conversation was also enjoyable. Yes, that IS a form of cheating, and I'm not proud of it, but at least it's on line only and not in person.)

I don't think there is anything "wrong" with you, unless your sexual needs begin to interfere with your work or your life in general. If so, counseling may be in order.

I wish you luck. You are not alone!

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High libido

Submitted by mpramage on Sun, 02/09/2007 - 21:49.

The issue here is that you want more than he can do. Of course there is nothing wrong with a high libido, but most men in his age group are satisfied with 2 to 4 sexual contacts a week. This is average you understand. Some can do more, some way less.
The matter has to be worked out between the two of you. What is so bad about masturbating if you want to? It can keep you calm and make it less of a demand between you. What is sex for anyway?
Your libido is not an abnormality, it is just an incompatibility the the two of you have to manage.

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Libido's Not The Same

Submitted by Mature Man on Mon, 03/09/2007 - 10:07.

I agree with mpramage.

If you're unequal sexually, don't feel ashamed; just take care of your needs. If those needs start to interfere with your life, of course, like perhaps dominating every waking moment (!), you may need counseling or other help,. However, I think a lot of people masturbate well into old age, if need be, rather than give up all the other good elements of their marriage or partnership.

Understand that MANY couples (most, perhaps!?) are "unequal" in that department, and that that can vary during their lives, too.

Too bad you are not at the same level! Your man has a treasure in you, and I envy him, in a way, because my situation is the opposite. I'm an older man who would still love to enjoy sex several times a week, and am totally able to "get it up" and do that, but she simply cannot, and it has gotten down to maybe once a week, if that.

What's left? Masturbation, thankfully, and, I confess, over the years, occasional cybering with a woman whose needs are closer to mine. (Yes, that may be cheating; if so, I'm sorry, but I NEED sex, as I know you understand!)

Good luck!

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you are lucky at once per

Submitted by bob1975 on Tue, 23/10/2007 - 22:55.

you are lucky at once per week my friend, im only 31 my lady is 27 and we have it once per month at best right now! I love her and am not really the sort to sleep around to get my fix, masterbation is just not the same for me so doesnt really help. AArrrrgghhh!
wot can we do?

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