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Scared of sex

Submitted by Anonymous on Sun, 21/12/2003 - 13:07. Sex Problems for Women

i am a 39 year old woman. i am in a relationship with a kind and loving man. All my life i was bought up as a christian and told that sex was something to make children, now i have left the church i still find i cannot enjoy or let myself go to enjoy sex very much. i was married for 13 years and i thought we had a good sex life in so far as he orgasamed and i did. but now i find that what we had was very straight forward. i can only orgasm in one position, which i find fustrating. my partner has promised a weekend away and time to explore each others bodies. part of me is looking forward to this, another part is terrified, at having to perform and look like i am enjoying stuff. please can you give me any good exercises or tips to make this experience fun, exciting and memorable for the both of us
thanks

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You may not be surprised to k

Submitted by mpramage on Sun, 21/12/2003 - 13:17.

You may not be surprised to know that there are many other women like you out there!
The first clue to making your weekend enjoyable lies in what you say about having to perform and look as though you are enjoying it when you aren't. What a pressure to put on yourself!! Tell your partner what you are going through, as I doubt very much that he wants you to feel pressurised. Nobody can relax and experience their bodies under pressure.
You used the word explore too, which implies that this isn't a performance, it's a finding out. If you then pretend, what will you find out?
You may find that the position that works for you is the only one that touches the parts that need to be touched. Many women do not orgasm at all, and certainly not with a partner.
As well as exploring thngs that may or may not please you, you can spend time really focussing on what he likes, and that will take pressure off you as well.
The weekend won't be all bodies, will it? Will you go for walks and talk about the things that matter to each of you, as well as sex!
I hope it goes well.

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