Why Does It Hurt So Much

Gay Issues and Problems

It's been a little more than a month that my partner and I ended a 13 years relationship both in our late 30's. It hurts so much, i don't know what i can do if anything to save what we had. Three months ago he brought out a conversation in front of good friends about threesomes or an open relationship. We talked, gave opinion, i would be uneasy with this because i am a jealous person and not secure with myself to deal with issues. He kept bringing up the topic in short but i could see that it was really on his mind. Another session with more friends about the same, went well, more information but he was still uneasy. We talked another day and we discussed, he had this need to touch another person. I went out of town, i was uneasy because he was going out every night with his best friend, it wasn't like him something was not right. When i got back he was not the same. the next day that was it, he said he loved me but was not in love with me anymore. He brought up that he knew i had been sleeping around, with a few people, reality hit home. I was crushed and i did it in the last 7 years because we hadn't been active sexually that much, so i resorted to looking for this instant release, i did wrong, i regret it dearly. We moved to Texas 3 years ago and built a home, a business, friends, community. We were happy in many ways, the love was there we did lose communication and intimacy, but there was something there. We have been talking, it's hard for both we feel it was maybe necessary for us to see where we were. He says he is still soul searching and i should do the same. There was no disrespect or fights, only love and support from both sides. He is my soul mate, What if any hope is there?

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I know what your going through

I have had to deal with some things similar myself. I have been with my bf for 14 years. we met when i was 19 years old. Our love life was awesome in the beginning for about 10 years. In that time I did cheat a couple of times, mainly because i wanted attention, not for sex. I felt guilty afterwards and promised myself I wouldn't do it again. About 4 years ago my boyfriend wants to have threesomes..I didn't want to because I can't separate love from sex really when it comes to my boyfriend. So seeing another guy with my boyfriend upsets me. I don't like threesomes at all and we did have some good friends, but one of them kept flirting around with my boyfriend, so I dropped those friends. My boyfriend loved getting the attention and didn't see anything wrong with it. He loves the young twink types and I am getting older, even though I do my best to stay young looking, but it's getting harder to compete. I shouldn't have to compete, but I do for the person I love. He thinks bring a young guy in sexually from time to time will make everything ok, but I think it will make it worse. He is depressing at times and doesn't smile except when 18 year old boys are around. I am positive and smile a lot, so it's very hard to live this way and figure out where this whole relationship is going to end up or if it's going to make it.
Who knows..but he seems to think I'm the one with the issues and tries to manipulate me into believeing all our problems are my fault.