Appologies - no letter y on kepad and taking me ages to cut and paste.

I have been with my Fiance for just over one year. He is 24 and I am 34. We have just chosen our wedding venue and I was going to book it in the next day or two. However, this morning I have had confirmation from him that he has a problem and he can not help himself masturbating over porn and wants me to help and support him in stopping it - as he hates doing it as he feels guilt etc afterwards, especially as he does not want to hurt or lose me.

It is difficult for me to understand why he could not help it when he knew it would result in the possible ending of our relationship. He was in floods of tears and told me that he has always had a problem with having sex, and he has a uncomfortable feeling/guilt when he is having real sex, but these feelings have been decreasing over the time we have been together.

He has admitted that he has a problem with porn addiction and desperately does not want to loose me and I do believe him and know that he adores me. He has asked me to help him and he will do anthing to stop it so that it does not affect our relationship and he hates the feelings of guilt and uncomforableness when having sex. We spent a long time talking and my initial reaction would be if I could ever trust him as he has broken promises and lies to hide what he has been doing. I want to trust him and not be checking his emails, texts, computer etc - which I have checked texts periodically

He has asked me to delete all the porn of his pc and the adult chat room thing and also put a block on with a password to assure me that he wont look at porn again - which I have done. He has been doing this for about ten years now, how difficult is it going to be for him to cut it out?

I have looked up a relationship sex therapist, so we are going to go there. I want to try and help him, but I guess my ego has been damaged and overactive thoughts are present in my head with regards to what else he has lied about and if I can ever trust him to tell me the truth. I told him we will get through it and that he has to tell me the truth at all times, if he relapses etc. as long as he tells me straight away, we can deal with it, but if he lies and I find out he has done it, the relationship will be over. I will support him, as long as he is honest with me and talks to me about his feelings etc - is this too harsh? or should I not even bother as once an addict alwas an addict.

I am aware of the problems this can cause on a relationship and the relationship has a high risk of failing, if the addiction affects the sex life and attention given to the partner. I just do not want to be entering into a marriage if this problem can not be sorted before it develops into more seriousl.

I am torn as I want things to work out for us and on a selfish note I am 34 and want to have a child. It has taken me five years to find someone else that makes me so happy and cherished. But I can see potential problems in the future if it is not addressed and dealt with. Comments welcome and appreciated - odds of success etc, kiss with ex girlfriend six weeks into the relationship combined with this, is it doomed? (he expressed immense guilt for that kiss aswell. Will I just keep on having to listen to him appologising for acting before thinking forever? or can these emotions and habits be addressed, with therapy? I just dont want any other failed marriage and have children involved this time? Maybe I am overlooking obvious psychological problems that will cause long term probs? He is so devoted and loving otherwise but it is difficult to step outside of the relationship and read the signs.

Thanks