22 Year Old Male - Can't Cum During oral/vaginal Sex


Hi, I am a 22 year old male and cannot cum during oral or vaginal sex. I have just recently lost my virginity.

Embarassingly, from the age of 6 to about 18 I would hump the floor without an erection and orgasm that way. That is correct, I actually had orgasms at the age of 6. I did not start ejaculating until probably around my teenage years however.

When I was in my early teens, I learned that masturbation was not to be done with a floor, but with your hand, and I attempted to convert. However, despite trying with my hand for a while, perhaps a week or two, I could not orgasm. Maintaining an erection while masturbating was easy however. I soon gave up as traditional masturbation was not pleasurable. I then went back to humping the floor while limp, without an erection.

From time to time I would try to orgasm through hand masturabation, but it would never work, and I would revert back to the floor. I still had frequent erections, probably as often as any other teenage male.

When I turned 18, I decided that this had to stop and that I had to masturbate with my hand. I forced myself to masturbate with my hand for several weeks without ever getting off. I finally started to cum, but masturbation with my hand was much less pleasurable than with the floor. It would also take alot of time for me to get off with my hand, and I'd often need some sort of lotion to make it happen. Despite this, I would not masturbate with the floor, I would continue to use my hand.

As time grew on and years passed, masturbation with my hand became easier and easier. I no longer needed lotion and could get myself off in a matter of minutes while watching porn. I could get off multiple times a day and began to feel like masturbation was normal for me. I would masturbate daily, usually once a day, but sometimes twice.

When I turned 22, I finally lost my virginity. I have been with the same girl for 3 weeks now having sex fairly regularly and have yet to cum. Sex for us usually lasts a half hour. I cannot even cum when she gives me a blow job. She does a very good job. I know the difference between a good blowjob and a bad one as I've seen alot of porn. However, she does not use her hands while doing it, which may be helpful for someone like me trying to convert from handjobs to sex. I also cannot cum during sex, but usually keep it up for an hour.

Blowjobs feel extremely good, and very pleasurable. However, I don't feel that much during sex. Regardless they both feel very good. I however cannot climax whatsoever. While the length of my penis is average to slightly above average, my girth is a bit below average which may be even more difficult for someone like me converting from the tightness of a hand to the looseness of a vagina.

I have yet to masturbate in the 3 weeks I've been with her, and therefore have yet to cum within that time frame. When I converted from the floor to hand I did not use the floor at all during conversion as I felt that it made converting even harder. Because of that, I'm afraid to masturbate as I think converting to sex may be harder as well.

For the record, I don't think the girl I'm with is doing anything wrong, and she's very attractive. At the very least, I'm turned on by her so much that I'm hard for alot of the day. Is my situation at all common for men, and is there anything I can do to convert to orgasming during sex? I'm strongly considering going to a sex therapist, but thought posting this first might be a much better idea.

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I know the feeling!

I am exactly like you...i think i started at age 8 though, im often embarssed to tell people that i started that early, and that i slowly and reluctantly made the switch from the floor to my hand....I also cant go during blow jobs or sex...actually i was able to go during sex but the blowjob i still cant go to, and its often times pretty embarssing....i cant really solve your problem but there is some place i can point you too to understanding your condition...your not alone alot of people learn to masturbaute the wrong way check out this website


good luck my man, if i find anything i will pass it on


lol that makes so much sense cuz i remember i used to be with this girl and she was my first but I could never cum with her only myself. Then i bought this toy called a Flashlight and it was like a vagina. I could not cum with it at first but like you said over time i kept practicing and I finally cam with it. Then i started having sex with her again and I finally cam inside her and it felt so GOOOOOOOOD! but going back to what you siad... that was excellent i didnt even think about that untill i read this cuz that problem started with me again and i stumbled on this site tring to findout the problem. Thank you!!!

You are on the right track

Yes you are on the right track! You have already worked out how to train your penis to respond to different stimulus and put it into practice when you taught yourself to masturbate using your hand. Now you need to masturbate using your hand but emulating the feel and pressure of the vagina. Some people find using an artificial vagina, obtainable from the FPA shop, sorry I don't have the url, can be very helpful in making the transition. It is like an inflatable cuff that goes round the penis.