Here is the short and sweet. I am engaged to be married in a few months to a man I have been living with for 4 years. At the beginning of our relationship, I had an unplanned pregnancy. I had a miscarriage, but we decided to stay together. I was very clear about my not wanting him to be with me out of obligation. He said he wasn't, he really wanted to be with me. Our problem started pretty much immediately after that. He was totally disinterested sexually. We have gone 5, almost 6, months at a time without any sexual activity. While I admit that we have both gotten "comfortable" over the years, I did not at any point decide I was no longer a sexual creature. I have comfronted him about this and he said that he was just older than me (10 years) and wasn't as interested in sex as he used to be. He also said the miscarriage had frightened him so badly that he was terrified of having a repeat. I believed him at first, but now, I keep finding porn on his computer and hidden around the apartment. At first, it was all women. Famous people, amauteurs, pictures, short movies, playboy magazine. the usual stuff. But it made me furious because I was starving for his attention. He had begun treating me as a roomate instead of a girlfriend. I comfronted him, he lied. He said the internet porn must be pop-ups and I was over-reacting. I have let the issue go for a while because I was resigned that all men do this. It is the norm now and I would just have to get used to it. Today, however, I was looking around again and found gay sex site cookies on our computer (shemales, guy on guy, etc.) and an x-rated movie with a predominantly gay "story". I am devestated.
I had always found it strange that 3 of his 4 best friends were gay but I never really pushed it ( even though they don't like me at all ) for fear of being seen as homophobic. I am not the type to jump off the deep end with suspicions, but I know there is something wrong here. I am afraid I am too close to it to figure it out. I wonder if I need to postpone our wedding or if I really am being supersensitive to his "needs". I feel guilty for gaining weight and working so much, like I have caused this. But if I'm honest, he was never that into my pleasure during sex anyway. I've always felt he was with someone else in his head. I had just always assumed that someone else was Jessica Alba. Now I'm not so sure.
I would really appreciate input here. I'm lost.

Thanks