I hope the lady who posted this comment could give me some feedback on my issue.. I'm 24, my partner is 33. He has diabetes and went through a bit of depression or stress or whatever, but that was not long lasting. i've known him for a few years and we'd had sexual encounters in the past & only just gotten into a serious relatiohsip just over a year and a half ago. And he told me in the beginning he's had the erection problem for a couple of years before this. I've gotten him to talk about it a little, and we've gone to a place where they specialise in that area and the only option is for him to use a self injected needle which only hurts at the time of the prick of the needle so i'm told. However, he's only done this once or twice (in a year) and those times, he has turned his back to me and gone straight to sleep. Doesnt bother making an effort to get in the mood at all. I've explained to him it wont work that way. but he's just not interested!! I ask him to do it and ALWAYS he gives me the excuse of being tired (but funny how he'll stay awake for select things)

I am sooooo frustrated. I have learnt to deal with it more, but everynow and then I get my urges and just cant stop thinking about it. I'm 24 and could be faced with the fact i can never have any intimate contact with my partner for the rest of my life. Lately i feel like just going out and having a one night stand just so i feel like someone finds me sexually attractive again! i feel so unattractive too. It is against my morals to do something like that but im getting so fed up with it that i think karma will forgive me in this case.. i dont know!?!?!!

I feel its a little selfish of him not to think of how i feel about this. He doesnt think of my feelings at all :(

i dont know what to do :(

If he had so much trouble for such a long time, it may be very difficult for him to "forget" the experiences. Yes, therapy may help, and I urge him (and perhaps both of you) to seek that out.

If a man loses his erection in intercourse, it often signals some kind of stress or psychological issue; hopefully, those issues are temporary and will go away. In his case, the issue was even more powerful because the man suffered pain for such a long time. There may be need for therapy.

I can tell you that, as an older man, I sometimes encounter loss of erection, for one reason or another, and my wife is tolerant and helps me to "just ignore it" that time. However, the next attempt may also be a problem because I expect it to happen again! And the next, too!

It has sometimes taken patience, on both parts, and delaying intercourse for a few days between tries, for me to regain potency and have a successful "go". When that happens, we're both delighted, of course, and I usually am then back on the road to success thereafter.

He should have been honest from the start, but it WAS a rather personal problem for him so he may have struggled to talk about it. I wish him (and you) luck in the future.