I might be a bit simple but it just seems to me that you are a very sincere person. This is one of the most underrated virtues of our time.I was shy but was fortunate in that I spent my formative years at a mixed boarding school so I had sex at quite an early age (as might have been the case in the late 80s not know in 2007) . The point is that my first sexual experiences were with people who for years were first and foremost friends. I hope i,m not trite in saying this but I think that you need a relationship built first on a deep friendship. If in this friendship there is mutual sexual attraction you will already have the confidence to over come the superficial hurdles of sexual physical intimacy. I wish you all the best.