I have been in a relationship for almost four years now. Me and my boyfriend have been living together for three years in August. We moved in together after he graduated from high school. Things have been good in our relationship. For being so young, we have had a pretty good 3 years. We never had to ask anyone for help, as we make out on our own just fine. Before we got an apartment together, I was living with an older woman, watching her kids nonstop and never had my own things, so moving into my own home was a big change. I have never really had a stable home, because my mother is basically irresponsible, and I never met my father.

So, right now, I feel really comfortable. I have never been more stable, as far as having a roof over my head and having what I need. However, here's the problem. About a year and a half ago, me and my boyfriend would argue nonstop. It would even get physical. I would provoke him by pushing him around and and getting in his face, and then he would put his hands on me for revenge and so forth. We were basically a mess. After we started doing that, I was embarrassed to even go outside sometimes, afraid that my neighbors could hear us. I'm starting to get over it though. It wasn't that bad, the yelling was the worst. I wouldn't put him or I in the category of being "physically abusive", because we are not that type.

I came from an abusive home, and started putting my hands on him first. When I say put our hands on each other, I mean like throwing things at one another and a lot of pushing, not punching or slapping, or any fist fighting. Anyway, this all started about a year and a half ago. Lately, I would say for about 2 mos. now, we haven't argued or put our hands on each other. It's been really good. I guess my question is, is it possible for us to lead a normal lifestyle even after all this happened between us? Sometimes I wonder if he even cares about me, because when I ask him about marriage, he usually gets defensive about it and doesn't want to talk about it. He really hurt my feelings last time, because when I asked him about it, he didn't even say "I'm not ready", or "We can't afford it", the first thing he said was "I don't want to talk about it". When he said this, I cried and got mad, because he acts like he doesn't ever want to get married to me. He doesn't even like fantasizing about our wedding. It like makes him feel awkward.

Another issue that I am having, and need some advice on is my weight. I have gained 80 lbs since I have been living with him. He gained weight too. However, for about 8 mos. he has been going to the gym and lifting weights and doing cardio, but me, I can't even get off the couch. He always brings up that "I should go workout". I did buy a gym pass, but have not even used it. I am so lazy. I don't feel good about myself. He doesn't really compliment me much either. When he started working out, he use to throw it in my face. He's always telling me what I should eat and should not eat. I'm a very pretty girl, and I know that if I lost weight I would be gorgeous. Not that I already am, but me being chunky makes me self-conscious. I want to show him that I don't need to depend on him. I want to feel sexy again. What should I do?