How to let go after an affair

Relationship Problems

I have been married for 17 years and recently thought I found the man of my dreams, man I loved, man I would spend the rest of my life with. In five short months we have connected emontionally, spirtiually and physically. I have never experienced such a desire to be part of someones life. Shortly after the affair started I knew my love for my husband was gone years ago and that I needed to honest with both him and myself and move on.

I am two weeks from my Dissolution to be final and now the new love of my life has decided to try counselling with his wife because he misses his kids. I am devastated. He states that he loves me and hates to see me hurt, but his counsellor told him that he needed to stop seeing me so he could make a clear decision for his families sake. He has cut me off and I feel like someone in my life has died along with the crushing of my heart.

In my 40 years of life I have never experienced such pain. Where do I go? What do I do? Help!

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Terrible pain

This is a terrible pain. I know from personal experience. You have accepted the situation and realise that all you can do is let go, but it feels worse than being dead. All I can honestly say to you is that it will get better in time. The body and mind have their ways of healing from these unbearable wounds, and you will recover.
Keep busy, talk to anybody who will listen and understand, get a counsellor for yourself, and one morning you will wake up and feel just a bit lighter.


This days a new day - the tears get less each day but the gut and heart still ache. He called this weekend and told me he loved me more that anything. He knows he wants me but still needs to figure out how things can work together. He found out I went out this weekend with friends and admitted to being jealous and he doesn't want to lose me to anyone else. I want to jump in with both feet again, but don't want to face rejection again either. I have a counseling meeting on Tuesday and hope this will help. Still searching for what's the right move next.