How do I go on? 6 yrs ago I found out my husband had a very intimate internet affair. He chatted with a woman who lived far away and there were also phone calls. At the time he lived away from us (we have 2 kids) because of his job. We met all vacations holidays and so forth.

What keeps troubling me is that it was way more intimate conversation than we'll ever have. I've always missed more openness around my likes during love making but without success. However he asked her all the details what and how she likes it. I now feel I'm not important to my husband and we've had a lot of fights. I told him one more flirtatious email to a girl and thats it. 2 yrs. ago he wrote a young singer about how good she looks. He says it meant nothing but after that I do not get turned on at all, we have sex maybe once every other month (I only do it for the intemacy)and he wonders why I'm so passive now and why I mostly drink first, I've explained but he seems to not get it. We cant have a real conversation about it, he withdraws any conversation that has to do about how I feel. He has after we argued about these internet thing quit giving me any compliments.

I have suggested we split but seems he dont want to leave. I've asked him to move on and leave, then he walks about crying silently being sad . On top of this I have recently got a disorder that affect my apperance , dystonia - spasmodic torticollis which makes my neck pull to the side and then back. between 50- 1000 times a day. My self confidence is severely low especially around my husband although I know deep within I'm not bad looking for 45 - my husband says I should know he loves me cause he hasn't moved. When he is online he watches Victorias Secret search for Serena Williams pictures and so forth and I feel awful. Am I overreacting ? Is there any way I can get through to this person or doI just file for divorce - I guess this is my last cry for help. Thank you for your answer.