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A cold Husband

Submitted by karicia0714 on Mon, 14/05/2007 - 03:40. Relationship Problems

Today was Mothers day and My Husband woke up as usual got ready he said happy mothers day and hugged me. I was really upset though because he did not even give me a gift not even a single flower or a card to say thank you for being the mother of my children. We had a dinner at my moms house and instead of him serving me since today was a special day for me I had to serve him at the table as always oh and the kids too. I got to eat last. It was a normal day for me. I took care of the kids at moms house and he went home to lay down and watch TV. I come home and instead of helping me take my daughters a bath he is laying in bed still, does not even offer to help. I just don't get it. What is wrong with him he has always been this way accept in the beginning of the relationship when he was trying to impress me. I just do not know what to do anymore I am tired of being his maid I cannot even talk to him because he just does not say anything he ignores me. Oh and Tv is his number one fan I wish I was the television at time so that he could listen to me. I just really want to give up on him at times. I have told him how I feel but, he just does not care. What should I do?

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I am tired of being his maid

Submitted by Mature Man on Wed, 16/05/2007 - 10:43.

And I think that says a lot. Frankly, it sounds as if he DOES think of you as his "maid"! Sorry, but the way you describe your life with this guy suggests that!

You "serve him" and "eat last"? And you say he has "always been this way"? How long have you two been married?

Let's see what others think, but I just feel bad for you. I'd NEVER treat my wife that way. We never forget to get each other cards for birthdays or Father's Day or Mother's Day, and, while I may not always get her flowers, you can bet she gets treated special that day. She gets dinner out (formerly with the kids, but now just we two, since the kids are all grown and married) or I make it for her, and you bet she gets pampered at least SOME way that day!

I am always amazed to read messages like this, and they appear often here and elsewhere.

It is YOUR life and no one can tell you what to do, but I think you need to find a powerful way to talk to this character. Trouble is, it sounds as if you HAVE been his "maid" for so long that he now assumes that you are.

I wish you luck!

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Special days

Submitted by mpramage on Mon, 14/05/2007 - 11:59.

People often have different ideas about the celebration of special days, where one person lets them pass unnoticed, and the other person sees them as an opportunity to espress gratitude, make a big effort for the other and show lots of love and attention.

I have met couples where one person has laid on a great surprise party for the birthday of the other, much time and trouble expended as well as the cost, and the other one simply doesn't operate that way. Or sometimes one person works incredibly hard with long demanding hours to provide a good lifestyle, and the other person goes without some closeness and intimacy as a result.

Maybe the two of you are like this in some way and he just has a different value for these days. He may see it differently of course. As you say he has always been this way, so he is not likely to change. You may have tried to change him, and have told him how you feel, but he is just like this. You can accept him for the man he is and think about why you are still with him, or consider what other options you may have.

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