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MY BOYFRIEND FOUND OUT HE HAS A CHILD...WHAT DO I DO?

Submitted by JESSICA3588 on Mon, 23/04/2007 - 03:53. Relationship Problems

Hi, my name is Jessica (I'm 24 years old) I am going through something really hard right now and my boyfriend and I keep fighting about it. I have been with him for 2 years now. About six months ago he got served for child support. He didn't know he had a child. Apparently 10 months or so before we got together he slept with a skank. Anyways the paternity test came back this week and it's his. I have been so upset by the whole matter and anytime someone brings it up, I begin to cry and can't stop. He just gets mad at me when I try to tell him my feelings and why I am so sad. He will not see where I am coming from. He tells me that I am living too much in the future and only looking at the negative side of it.

I on the other hand am so sad because my beliefs have always been...find someone you love...get married...have children TOGETHER! Now it will never be like that...I will be stepmom to this child...this child who is part white trash and part him. This child who everytime I look at will remind me of her. My boyfriend will have gone through everything with this child first and now if we have children it will never be a first. I do not want this child in my life...this stranger who is coming to take my boyfriend away from me. He is going to put that child first and I will mean nothing. I can tell he is excited about it now, a BOY...oh a boy so he can teach him baseball and all the rest of boy things. I am so resentfull and I do not know how to proceed. I can't seem to stop thinking about what it's going to be like.

I do not really want to leave him because of this, but I do not know what to do. I just don't get why he won't tell me he is sorry and comfort me when he was the one who knocked up some b*t&ch and now is ruining all the plans we have made for our life together. I know now we will never get married, because he says he doesn't have any money to marry me. With him paying all this child support $800/month, he is never going to have money to do anything with me let alone marry me. We are only 24 years old, we should be traveling and living life to the fullest and now because of his mistake we are going to be living paycheck to paycheck. I am so depressed, please help me find a way to deal.

Thank you!

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OMG Id leave you in a heartbeat....

Submitted by Just2Cute on Tue, 24/04/2007 - 19:48.

WOW first off this was BEFORE he met you. You honestly sound like a childish crybaby to sit there and basically ask him to choose between him and his flesh and blood. No wonder he is mad. I would be furious and probably leave you. Im sure its a shock but u have to realize this happened BEFORE YOU GUYS WERE TOGETHER. Its not like he cheated on you and a child was created. You need to stop the whining and act like a 24 year old WOMAN and accept the fact that he now has a child in the picture. Do you not think he is probably having a hard time dealing with this as well? Or is this ALL ABOUT YOU? Talk about self centered!! Thats so wrong. You are his partner, shouldnt you be supportive and understanding? Why should he tell you he is sorry and comfort you? Wtf is that?? Sorry for something he did almost a year before he was with you? He is the one that has to be a father to this child, pay child support for this child, help raise this child...a crapload of responsibility has just been thrown onto him and ur worried about him not comforting YOU? And then to say the child is part "white trash" ... nah, i wouldnt stay with you and if he is smart he will wise up and leave you. Love is unconditional, perhaps you need to look that up.

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