I have read several postings on this site that are very similar to my problem, but not quite the same. I am 24 years old and have been dating my present boyfriend for nearly two years. We have lived together for about a year or so. Almost everything about our relationship is wonderful - we almost never fight, he is sweet and loving, respects me, etc. However, he is different from the man I met. We met the summer after we both graduated college. We used to go out all the time, have lots of sex, and just do lots of fun young people things together. Since then I have started law school and he has a 9-5 job. He has really settled down since we met, which is something I always thought I wanted a man to do for me. We talk openly about our future and as long as things stay the same between us, I am sure we are headed towards marriage.

However, I am really torn. Things have become very boring between us. My boyfriend is getting older (about to be 27), and therefore doesn't like to do any of the things we used to do. Even though I am in law school, and don't have much free time, I would like to go out to parties or a bar every once in awhile like we used to, and he seems to have no interest. Recently, he went on vacation and I found some old videos and photos of him. Before we met he was really crazy. The pictures and videos were of him with past girlfriends partying and having fun and I even found a sex tape of him with another girl. I get really turned on when I think of that side of him, but it seems to all be in his past. I understand that we are older, but we are not married with children yet and I don't feel like at 24 I am completely ready for the married lifestyle.

Also, his sex drive has all but diminished and he says it doesn't turn him on when I initiate sex. I have tried to be understanding because I know he is getting older, and I have waited for him to initiate but he only wants sex about once a week or so. The odd thing is, lately I have caught him looking at internet porn. Basically, I just feel like we have settled into the married routine and he no longer wants to go out or have sex with me. I feel trapped.

However, I also feel like if I let him go I will regret it because he is the most wonderful man I have ever met and I am still very attracted to him. I feel like every man reaches this point in his life and I am just being childish to want things to go back to the way they were two years ago. Any insight?