wow, shit. I'm in the exact same situation. contact me and I'll give you my email addy. Seems like we should talk in private.
good luck.

thats the thing ive asked him so many times if he still loves me and he says yes but blantantly doesnt show it anymore. Hes always nice if we go out in public and affectionate but its like its for show. Ive asked him so many times if he wants to split up, if he still loves me, etc but he always says he does. Its so hard, at least if he didnt I could pick myself up and move on, itll hurt like mad but itll fade and I could move on with my life, sell the house, etc. Any suggestions?

i used to only see my boyfriend on weekends becos i lived with my parents and with us being apart all week i would always hope for sex and some fun on the week end. after a few weeks he started not wanting it as often and after a year or two we started falling out becos of it becos for 4 or 5 weeks in a row he would not want to touch me. this meant we wouldnt have sex for a month or two at a time and i knew that he was using porn in the week when i wasnt there.

i had it out with him cos i got really annoyed about it and i was going to leave him becos of it. he said that it was really pressurising for him to know that i was expecting it from him all the time and he felt like he couldnt just relax and be happy about the evenings we were spending together and what we were doing. he said he could relax on his own and enjoy it more becos i was there hanging over him expecting him to "perform".

maybe you should try the tactic with your partner of saying "i understand ive probably been pressuring you to have sex more often than you want to and i realise it probably hasnt been very nice for you". Tell him that you are willing to hold back and respect what he wants and you will let him initiate it instead of you trying to force it on him. I would give this a try for a month or two but if your partner still shows no interest then i am afraid that he might not be the one for you.

Hiya, hope your ok, im a guy thats having some problems similar to your fellas. Can i ask you a personal question. Have you put on any weight, changed anything or given him the impression you are unhappy with your appearance. Men are somewhat shallow when it comes to women and although they are capable of being sensitive to a woman this is usually just to make the woman feel better and this does very little to stimulat a male. Men are Visual creatures, they like to be stimulated physically, Men also like to feel they have a trophy partner, even if their partner isnt the Trophy type they are still capable of convincing themselves in their head. This might sound silly to you and i may get some flames from other men from here but, i know im personally stimulated by pony tails and tassles and cleavage and short skirts and boots. Maybe this is worth a try, you know your man better than i do. I also feel its a shame that women get lazy with their appearance when in a relationship after a while. I promise if you split up you would get dressed up to impress the next guy, simply try this with the one you have got. Make him date you and get yourself booked in to the tanning shop, get your nails done (paint them nice) buy a new slinky dress, some nice shoes or boots, look sexy but not overboard as this can also backfire. And change your hair style and colour, strawberry blonde with a hint of brown works for me and a different style. Whilst this might seem extreem you are trying to remind him that you are a woman and that you are capable of making the effort, also that he is worth it. Most of all Best of luck and i hope it all works out for you :-) I cannot believe the constant bombardment from people here trying to get you to leave. You really think this is the only solution to her problem? She loves the guy, (sounds like he is just having a major head fuXX ) What happened to supporting your partner through thick and thin? You would expect him to support you! if the tables were turned.

I agree with you trying to stick it out but...I am the another woman in this situation. I am hoping you can shed some light on my circumstances. My BF looks at porn every night. I know he takes care of himself. I regards to my changes - I teach an exotic dance class and pole dance class for working out. I do the whole looking good thing but he says he likes me plain. When I am in yoga pants and hair in pony tail is when he tells me I look cute. BUT when I try to touch him pulls back - and it hurts. He actually looks afraid. I ask him over and over what is wrong and he says it isnt me. He loves me - he says it ALL THE TIME. In front of others he is so touchy feely and says things to make them think we are just fine...he is unhappy with his job but also has been for a couple of years and that never changed his attitude with me about sex. So give me your male perspective. Is he cheating but doesnt want to lose me? Is it the porn? We have had MANY talks about his excessive viewing....help....anything.